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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why does this happen

33 replies

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 13:48

I was in a relationship since may 2023 with an man who was 11 yrs older- we met on Facebook and all was good for a couple of months but then he wanted me to delete my Facebook- so I couldn't talk to friends,family,etc. I would drive 2 hours almost every weekend to see- spend time with him - paying for room, meals,etc. He lived with his sister who he had to pay rent,food,etc but lost his carpenters job from his cousin so I'd send him money thru cash app- total of 3,000 and even cellphone.he asked me to marry him Sept 29 but of course I had to use mommas ring,but then told me he needed to get his birth certificate, identification so we could get married- I sent him money 3 times for documents but he never got them so I waited 2 months and broke it off.. he now says I played,used him and now he is homeless still using celphine on wifi on Facebook looking for other women..what did I do wrong to be treated like this ?? 😒

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 10/01/2024 13:50

I guess you were gullible, clearly a scammer. Something made him target you,

gwenneh · 10/01/2024 13:50

You painted the red flags white instead of saying, "No, thanks." the minute they appeared.

Is there a reason you accepted that kind of behaviour?

RowanMayfair · 10/01/2024 13:52

Why do scamming men scam? Because they are cunts.
why do women fall for it? Low self esteem usually. Are you ok?

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:15

So true but I've been single for over 14 yrs focused on raising my daughter only and have a 10 acre ranch,work for state for 14 yrs too.. I just thought he was different but found out it was all a lie...thanks for asking if I'm ok.. I have always been strong- being raised with 3 older brothers but we learn in life

OP posts:
SamW98 · 10/01/2024 14:20

The minute they ask for money - delete and block.

Watch For Love Or Money on BBC IPLAYER. You’ll see how common this is and how to spot the signs of being scammed

Ladyj84 · 10/01/2024 14:23

So many red flags yet you keep giving. Block, delete and move on

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:40

He painted a good picture of being a good man but later found out it was all a lie

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Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:41

Thank you do much..one day I'll find a good man

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gwenneh · 10/01/2024 14:41

None of his actions paint a picture of being a good man.

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:42

So true ..you are so right ,he even used God too

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Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:45

Yes so true but we live and learn.. thank you for responding

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SamW98 · 10/01/2024 14:48

By your words OP do you not live in the UK?

LauderSyme · 10/01/2024 14:51

You did nothing wrong. You met a predatory man. Your mistake was not drawing boundaries when his behaviour screamed that he was using you. Please work out why you didn't, and work on yourself, as otherwise you may find you repeat the pattern.

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 14:56

Thank you so much for your support 🙏 ❤️
@

OP posts:
bendypines · 10/01/2024 15:13

No man gets to tell you what to do.

Live by that, and you won't go far wrong.

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 15:46

Thank you ,so very true 😊

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 10/01/2024 15:53

I could do with £3000 , give it me, I'll put it to better use.
Really, it's a worry you didn't see his scam for what it was. Lots of men lie, because they can, its easy. Be less trusting.

Bobbotgegrinch · 10/01/2024 15:58

"he wanted me to delete my Facebook- so I couldn't talk to friends,family,etc."

You didn't block him the moment this happened. That's where you went wrong

MermaidEyes · 10/01/2024 16:03

Well you'll know better for next time. Frankly I'm amazed any woman would fall for that within a few short weeks but hey 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 16:03

All so true,thank you for your response

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Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 16:04

Yes so very true

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Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 16:11

No I live in Texas

OP posts:
Moier · 10/01/2024 16:27

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Bobbotgegrinch · 10/01/2024 16:34

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Oreomedina · 10/01/2024 16:34

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