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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does my colleague like me? How to proceed?

13 replies

Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 19:33

People will likely advise not to date a colleague, however as of next week we're transferring to different departments within the organisation so won't be working with him any longer, just both part of the wider organisation, also hybrid working so rarely in on same days.
Initially I was in a relationship but I'm currently single. Over the past fortnight, I've gotten to know him more.
I am sociable with both males and females, one of my closest colleagues is a guy who's a lot younger than me, we speak daily on the work instant messaging and have a good laugh, and I know it's completely platonic plus he messages everybody.
Initially the man in question seemed really nice and easy to talk to. I'd spoken to him at work a couple of times and then one day sent him a joke on the work Skype chat.
He seemed receptive and since we've been messaging almost daily. He starts a lot of the conversations himself and seems keen.
He knows I'll be moving in a week's time and he seemed to want to stay in touch with me.
I do like him a lot and thinking of asking him for a coffee.. I'm hopeful he'll say yes.
I was in a long relationship so been out of the dating game for a while! I'm trying to be slightly flirty in the conversations we have.
Any advice? Just for the record I still get all my work done! We're allowed to use the chat for personal use too and we all do.. I'm hopeful it'll work out but maybe I should wait for him to ask? If he does?

OP posts:
anybloodyname · 01/01/2024 19:38

It's 2024 ! You don't need to wait to be asked
" Hey , not long till I move on , would you like to go for a coffee , exchange numbers , before I go ? "

Go for it ! 🎉

Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 19:40

You're right, according to friends though it's better if I 'let him chase me' 🙄 I agree it is 2024, I guess I'm just scared of being burned again. To be fair, he has started a lot of the conversations himself.
I might be brave and try that though because if he says no, at least I won't have to see him again (much)

OP posts:
Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 19:56

Does it sound like he could be interested or just being friendly?

OP posts:
Olika · 01/01/2024 20:08

How much is a lot younger?

Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 20:09

Sorry I don't mean the colleague I'm interested in. He is close to my age, the platonic one is a decade younger, mid 20s and I'm mid 30s.

OP posts:
Olika · 01/01/2024 20:16

Oh sorry just re-read. You have nothing to loose by asking him. That way you know if he is interested or if he only interested on office flirting/banter.

Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 20:19

Thank you! I will just be brave and go for it..

OP posts:
swuahies · 01/01/2024 20:32

Good luck!

SkaneTos · 01/01/2024 20:33

Ask him out!

Good Luck!

Melindaverga · 01/01/2024 20:36

I decided I'm going to ask him Monday :) literally just going to say 'Hey, fancy going for a coffee one day?'
Kinda just start as friends and see if it develops naturally maybe?

OP posts:
gravitytester · 01/01/2024 21:15

Go for it!

Similar situation with a friend of mine (and similar ages!), they are now married! :D

ETA: somehow missed the last post 🤣 well done!

SkaneTos · 01/01/2024 22:15

@Melindaverga
Sounds like a good plan!

Hididi11 · 22/06/2024 11:59

Tbh
At work
When I really CBA working and would do anything to get out work...I messaged anyone who is willing to reply back and I think this is what this guy maybe doing.

I absolutely would never get to know anyone from work outside of work. As soon as I leave at 5 I no longer think about work and you could be classified as work.

You are thinking too much.

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