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Original poster

Why is ex husband angry all the time, yet he married OW?

367 replies

pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:02

Ex husband left me for OW. Married her and had two more children. Needless to say, the end of a long marriage was painful in the extreme, but it was 7 years ago now and I'm totally out the other side and very happy with my life.
That said, the ex husband seems to be full of rage towards me for some weird reason, considering it was HE who had the affair and left the family. He makes snidey comments to our kids about me and if I bump into him in the local area, he literally grimaces and looks like he'd like to rip my head off!
What the hell could be going on?

OP posts:
Coincidentally · 29/12/2023 19:18

Mine does this too -just don’t give him the headspace. You don’t need to psychoanalyse him or care if he is or it isn’t or who ‘won’ (which seems like you want to hear)

SoSad44 · 29/12/2023 19:19

Grass isn’t always greener on the other side…

Original poster
pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:19

Some very good comments. Thank you !

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 29/12/2023 19:19

Agree with find him amusing

I'd be much more childish though - I'd pretend faux concern and ask him how his male menopause was going Grin

He's angry for all of the reasons stated plus one other - YOUR kids are adults and YOU are FREE - he's still parenting young children 😂

Make sure you swan about as much as possible with a big grin and really wind the fucker up

QueenofLouisiana · 29/12/2023 19:22

It’s easier for him if he re-writes the narrative, telling everyone (including himself) that you were a bitch and that his life with you was terrible. This means he must now react in this way, to maintain his own belief in this tale.

My SIL has done the same thing, declaring that my BIL’s new relationship destroyed her marriage. It didn’t. She told BIL to leave almost 4 years ago, moved her partner in 6 months later. He met his partner 18 months ago. But still she persists with this fallacy.

Onelifeonly · 29/12/2023 19:22

I'd be resentful, at least, if I had lumbered myself with another set of kids when my original family was grown up.............

GodDammitCecil · 29/12/2023 19:23

Honestly, the ‘women are so emotional ‘ trope is just bizarre.

Men are the emotional ones, and what’s worse, they never bother to even try to hide it.

Love asking him about his male menopause!

justthecat · 29/12/2023 19:24

It's called karma

GodDammitCecil · 29/12/2023 19:25

Two toddlers at his age.

How absolutely delightful for him. 😇

Isthisit2 · 29/12/2023 19:25

*not angry

Hagpie · 29/12/2023 19:34

I think I’d hate a set a toddlers at his age so it’s got to be YOUR fault. You made him do it.

369damnshesfine · 29/12/2023 19:39

He’s jealous.

He’s jealous that you’re not begging for him back and getting on with your life.

He’s jealous that he could have had a life with you and your now adult children.

He’s jealous that his life with the OW isn’t as perfect as he thought it would be.

He messed up his own life and he’s not man enough to blame himself, so he’s trying to pass the blame to you.

I would have asked him what his problem is and why he’s so angry all of time (trying not to smirk).

Fynetanksfather · 29/12/2023 19:42

What was your relationship like when you were together OP?

fromhellsheartistabatthee · 29/12/2023 19:43

Because he's knee deep in nappies and shackled to a jealous shrew when he could have been enjoying his golden years with somebody nice. Result!

Onceuponaheartache · 29/12/2023 19:43

I would assume OW is more than a little terrier that a leopard doesn't change it's spots!

His behaviour is crackers.

What sort of things is he saying to the kids?

wizzywig · 29/12/2023 19:45

I'd have kept saying hi to him in the supermarket to wind him up.

festivetinseling · 29/12/2023 19:46

You are happy without him. He doesn't like it.

BeggyMitchell · 29/12/2023 19:46

Hagpie · 29/12/2023 19:34

I think I’d hate a set a toddlers at his age so it’s got to be YOUR fault. You made him do it.

Ah yes. I hadn't thought about that angle but that's bang on too.

Don't you know it's YOUR fault OP, for DRIVING him to OW and now he's miserable again but again that's all YOUR fault OP Grin.

Bellyblueboy · 29/12/2023 19:48

It could be a million things. He could be angry about the financial impact of divorce, annoyed that he has another 15 years of parenting ahead of him, convinced you have poisoned the kids against him etc etc.

his wife has possibly complained about you for years - nonsense about child support and who got the house and access to the kids and summer holidays and who got what friends.

who cares?

Cherrysoup · 29/12/2023 19:51

How very DARE you be happy without him?! Brilliant, OP, keep smiling!

anothernamechangeagainsndagain · 29/12/2023 19:53

The grass wasn't greener, seeing you reminds him how unhappy he is. My ex thankfully is amicable but admits he should have stayed with me

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 29/12/2023 19:53

And of course it’s peak Christmas visiting season so the new wife might have been having a scratchy time of it in the bosom of his wider family. Possibly even being called the wrong name.

Did you get on well with your X-ILs by any chance?

gocompare · 29/12/2023 19:55

Jealous and annoyed at his bad judgement as actual fuck.

Pretying · 29/12/2023 19:55

Men always blame women for their poor choices.

Mumofteenandtween · 29/12/2023 19:56

He’s lumbered with two (two!) toddlers and you are sanding around enjoying your adult children and looking happy.