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Original poster

Why is ex husband angry all the time, yet he married OW?

367 replies

pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:02

Ex husband left me for OW. Married her and had two more children. Needless to say, the end of a long marriage was painful in the extreme, but it was 7 years ago now and I'm totally out the other side and very happy with my life.
That said, the ex husband seems to be full of rage towards me for some weird reason, considering it was HE who had the affair and left the family. He makes snidey comments to our kids about me and if I bump into him in the local area, he literally grimaces and looks like he'd like to rip my head off!
What the hell could be going on?

OP posts:
Mywhoopdeedoo · 29/12/2023 19:03

He knows he made a massive mistake

DisforDarkChocolate · 29/12/2023 19:04

He hates that it's obvious you're better off without him.

3luckystars · 29/12/2023 19:05

He must not be a happy person if he is that angry.

Blanca87 · 29/12/2023 19:05

He hates his life and he envy’s yours.

Aquamarine1029 · 29/12/2023 19:07

It's regret. The only way he can deal with it is to lash out at you.

BeggyMitchell · 29/12/2023 19:08

The grass wasn't greener OP and he can't bear to admit it to you or anyone else.

compactopera · 29/12/2023 19:08

Why do you care?

SheilaFentiman · 29/12/2023 19:08

He was supposed to “win” and be the happy one, you were supposed to pine after him for ever

Original poster
pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:08

The other day I bumped into him in the supermarket. I said hello and when he turned to look at me, he immediately looked like he'd gone from 1-1000 in the rage department and literally spat the words 'JUST GET AWAY FROM ME!'
It was the most bizarre behavior and one I'd not seen in 22 years of our marriage.

OP posts:
Jf20 · 29/12/2023 19:09

BeggyMitchell · 29/12/2023 19:08

The grass wasn't greener OP and he can't bear to admit it to you or anyone else.

God give me strength, what do you think that’s what she wants to hear, so you will say it even though it’s likely the furthest thing from the truth?

op, I don’t know why he hates you. We can’t guess.

Mywhoopdeedoo · 29/12/2023 19:09

Just smile to yourself op, Karma’s a bitch

Almondmum · 29/12/2023 19:09

Weird to ask why she cares - they are connected by their kids, of course it makes things difficult if he's like this.

I think he has probably made you into a villain in his head so he can tell himself his affair was justified.

hatesloudchewers · 29/12/2023 19:10

He knows he’s a shitty person but can’t accept it so he directs his vileness outwards instead of at himself for cheating on his wife and leaving his kids. He’s probably fecking FUMING you didn’t fall to pieces without him. It makes him realise you didn’t need him and he’s not the prime catch he had convinced himself he was when the OW was falling over herself to rummage in his pants (that you used to wash but now she has to 😂)

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 29/12/2023 19:10

How old are your DC and how old are his second litter?

Perhaps he’s a bit tired of all the child-rearing, and there’s no end in sight.

olympicsrock · 29/12/2023 19:10

Thanks fuck he’s an ex. You had a lucky escape!

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/12/2023 19:10

Secretly he'd like you to be pining for him still. Pining and yet somehow gaining ten stone and being all evil harridan, to justify he decision to have the affair and leave you. You continuing to look human, to behave nicely towards him and be polite and fabulous is causing him cognitive dissonance.

WhatWouldAliciaDo · 29/12/2023 19:10

Ooh, that took a turn.
I would have said you look happy and well and he regrets all, but that sounds deeper.
Does new wife beat him up if he so much as looks at you?

TheLurpackYears · 29/12/2023 19:11

He's furious he can't control you any more . I see the same with stbxh, dude, you've got what you said you wanted (a more elaborate sex life and someone to sop up his emotional incontinence), calm the fuck down.

Original poster
pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:13

New kids are toddlers. Our joint kids are adults.
THe new wife is extremely jealous from what I hear.
Just makes this shit for all of our family as it'd be so much easier just to be pleasant after all these years !

OP posts:
Isthisit2 · 29/12/2023 19:13

Did he leave you and children ? He is extremely guilty op. You are his guilt and he can’t face it . At the end of the day we all have to face ourselves and what we have done , there’s no escaping that .

RoseAndRose · 29/12/2023 19:14

SheilaFentiman · 29/12/2023 19:08

He was supposed to “win” and be the happy one, you were supposed to pine after him for ever

Think there’s something in this.

Especially as your DC (after a 22 year marriage) must be all grown up, and you’re footloose and fancy free

(But actually it doesn’t matter why he’s turned out to be a grudge-holding, angry man. Just be glad you rarely interact with him).

Syndulla · 29/12/2023 19:14

He has demonised you in his head to dampen down the feelings of guilt he has regarding his actions.

He can't be the guilty party because look how awful you are: That is what he is telling himself. He has convinced himself so successfully that this is true that he can't help act the way he does.

Hold your head up high OP and be glad you are free! He, on the other hand, is stuck in a prison of his own making.

Wildhorses2244 · 29/12/2023 19:15

My guess would be that OW is massively insecure because she knows he cheats and knows that when she settled down with him she created a vacancy.

The nicer he is to you, the harder his home life is, because she’s suspicious that you’ll sleep with him to get your own back. So he’s a dick to you to prove that he doesn’t fancy you.

GodDammitCecil · 29/12/2023 19:16

The best way to deal with people like this is to appear as if you find them mildly (very mildly) amusing.

It would be lovely (ideal) if you could have an amicable ‘relationship' post-split, but it doesn't appear as if that is on the cards.

Just maintain as much neutrality as you can.

Isthisit2 · 29/12/2023 19:17

That’s exactly it, ultimately what he did is morally wrong . He can’t face this , he knows it of course as all guilty people know it . His anger is at himself, he probably wants you to be angry but you sound forgiving and angry . Just wait till he gets even older and has to face the end .