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Original poster

Why is ex husband angry all the time, yet he married OW?

367 replies

pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:02

Ex husband left me for OW. Married her and had two more children. Needless to say, the end of a long marriage was painful in the extreme, but it was 7 years ago now and I'm totally out the other side and very happy with my life.
That said, the ex husband seems to be full of rage towards me for some weird reason, considering it was HE who had the affair and left the family. He makes snidey comments to our kids about me and if I bump into him in the local area, he literally grimaces and looks like he'd like to rip my head off!
What the hell could be going on?

OP posts:
YetMoreNewBeginnings · 29/12/2023 20:58

He’s furious that you’ve got on with your life.

My ex is livid that I have a happy, secure life and have the family I wanted. He used to constantly tell our girls that I married DH for his money.

Hes furious that I picked myself up when he abandoned us, refused to take him back two years later and have watched from the sidelines as he had more relationships, more children and still hasn’t found actual happiness. Whereas I found what I wanted.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 29/12/2023 21:00

Rosscameasdoody · 29/12/2023 20:40

My guess is that he’s saddled himself with a woman who is so jealous and insecure she’s controlling his movements and checking on him constantly. I would also guess the reason is because she’s realised that if he was capable of cheating on you, then he’s capable of doing it to her too. You’ve got your life together and he’s reaping what he sowed. Karma’s a bitch !!

Ex admitted to me that OW was constantly doing this, asking where he'd been and with who (this was pre-mobiles). When we were together he came and went pretty much as he pleased, as did I. He was most upset that she didn't trust him and I had a moment of absolute schadenfreude before I thought 'Really? can't imagine why the woman you were shagging behind your wife's back thinks you can't be trusted.' 😀

lemonadecar · 29/12/2023 21:02

Just a massive knobcheese would be my guess OP

femfemlicious · 29/12/2023 21:03

He is probably still angry about divorce settlement

StarkMalark · 29/12/2023 21:07

Guilt

BeggyMitchell · 29/12/2023 21:09

What about stress-induced ED - which ofc OP is responsible for and not his age.

DeeLusional · 29/12/2023 21:15

WhiskyTangoFoxtrot · 29/12/2023 19:10

How old are your DC and how old are his second litter?

Perhaps he’s a bit tired of all the child-rearing, and there’s no end in sight.

LOL

Londonismyjam · 29/12/2023 21:15

Mine’s like this, he had an affair with OW, a work colleague, 19 years ago when I was pregnant and had a toddler. He married her and went on to have two more children. He’s told all his family/friends that I was the one having an affair (whilst pregnant 😂). I’m happily remarried, 5 years after he left, and he can’t stand the sight of me.

LBFseBrom · 29/12/2023 21:18

BeggyMitchell · 29/12/2023 19:08

The grass wasn't greener OP and he can't bear to admit it to you or anyone else.

I thought that but why not ask him, op? You have a right to know why he is angry with you.

Cloverforever · 29/12/2023 21:19

Far easier to blame others than blame yourself....

RedRock41 · 29/12/2023 21:19

You can’t ‘hate’ something you were once indifferent to. Could the divorce settlement be a factor? Bitterness at a perceived taking him to the cleaners and now blaming current hardship his end on that maybe? Amazing how some men see what is joint as theirs. Best to maybe not overthink it if not. Unlikely you’ll get an amicable ending any time soon so next time you spot him don’t speak to him first. &Well done 👏 you coming out the other side.

Justanothercatlady · 29/12/2023 21:19

Is it wrong I can see you dancing around him singing Karma, Karma Karma Chameleon in the supermarket and waltzing off with a big smile on your face? Gracious in the face of weird emotions that have nothing to do with you - takes the power away!

Guavafish1 · 29/12/2023 21:22

Sounds like a loser.

Emotionalsupportviper · 29/12/2023 21:22

SheilaFentiman · 29/12/2023 19:08

He was supposed to “win” and be the happy one, you were supposed to pine after him for ever

This.

The loss of his Golden Willie should have left you a broken, hollow shell of a wumman - and yet you thrive! Grin

how old are his second litter?

@WhiskyTangoFoxtrot - how unkind! 😂😂😂.

Can I be your friend? 😏

InAPickle12345 · 29/12/2023 21:23

pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:13

New kids are toddlers. Our joint kids are adults.
THe new wife is extremely jealous from what I hear.
Just makes this shit for all of our family as it'd be so much easier just to be pleasant after all these years !

Likely he's stressed and tired with 2 toddlers, possibly reconsidering his life choices and envious of you and your free time with adult children.

Just smile and move on from it x

CharlotteRumpling · 29/12/2023 21:24

I'd be seething if I had to look after toddlers in my late forties or fifties, with no end to childrearing on the horizon!

Tebheag · 29/12/2023 21:25

pinkslippers2023 · 29/12/2023 19:13

New kids are toddlers. Our joint kids are adults.
THe new wife is extremely jealous from what I hear.
Just makes this shit for all of our family as it'd be so much easier just to be pleasant after all these years !

Theres your answer he is prob tired stressed and broke due to demands of younger family. So jealous of your life.

Seaside3 · 29/12/2023 21:31

Meh. Let him rage. Don't concern yourself with his petty little ways, you can't change them.
Just carry on living your lovely life and ignore his childish ways.

Mirabai · 29/12/2023 21:32

I know a couple of men who had affairs, got “stuck” with OW who wanted kids and marriage, and now they’ve got more kids to support and miss their ex wives. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Posters may be right that he created a narrative that you were awful to him hence his affair, but I’d say it’s equally likely that he knows you have an easier life.

LoveToEatFood · 29/12/2023 21:40

I’d guess his wife was somewhere in the supermarket too op, and he was shitting himself she would spot you talking and would get angry with him. That and the fact you are all perky and happy, while he’s totally frazzled and sleep deprived doing the toddler thing all over again, lol. You reap what you sow as they say.

LolaSmiles · 29/12/2023 21:41

New kids are toddlers. Our joint kids are adults.
THe new wife is extremely jealous from what I hear.
Just makes this shit for all of our family as it'd be so much easier just to be pleasant after all these years !

You had a 22 year marriage and split 7 years ago, so that's almost 30 years of his adult life spoken for.

My guess would be he has realised that he could be enjoying this stage of his life with grown up children whilst he's still young enough to be in good health and before retirement or old age starts creeping in.

Instead he's in the trenches of toddlerhood knowing he has another 15-20 years before they fly the nest.

confusedaboutclothes · 29/12/2023 21:41

Jf20 · 29/12/2023 19:09

God give me strength, what do you think that’s what she wants to hear, so you will say it even though it’s likely the furthest thing from the truth?

op, I don’t know why he hates you. We can’t guess.

Show quote history

I’d put any money on this being true!! Of course he is fuming that not only the grass wasn’t greener, but that OP is actually better off without him!

PrinnyPree · 29/12/2023 21:42

I very highly suspect his life has panned out very differently to what he expected when he was just shagging around, now he's married with toddlers and forced to do the family stuff again and you're the one with all the freedom with 2 adult kids and not a hell alot of the same family responsibilities anymore. 😅

He must be absolutley fuming your life's ace and his life's shite by his own infidelity. I imagine his head canon is that you drove him into Jealous McBunnyboiler's arms so it's really YOUR fault that he's in this mess with no childfree years for decades to come.

tachetastic · 29/12/2023 21:44

squeekyturkey · 29/12/2023 20:05

That's your answer. He's knee deep in toddler chaos and you prob have a more care free life and he knows it. Anyone who goes back to nappies when their kids are grown are glutting. Maybe he's raging you didn't fight for him more 😭

Exactly.

There's an episode of "The Middle" where the dad decides he needs to spend more time with his daughter Sue, but she is so surprised by his attention that she assumes he is planning to tell her that he is leaving her mum for younger woman. His response:

"A younger woman? God no. She might want kids!"

Your DexH is probably laying awake at night regretting everything, while the kids cry, the new wife moans and he has just added a decade or more onto achieving financial stability.

Snowdogsmitten · 29/12/2023 21:44

Laugh at him. It will kill him.

His life is shit, his new wife is a monumental ballache, and he’s angry with himself and blaming you. Hilarious. 😂