Why is ex husband angry all the time, yet he married OW?

[pinkslippers2023]

Ex husband left me for OW. Married her and had two more children. Needless to say, the end of a long marriage was painful in the extreme, but it was 7 years ago now and I'm totally out the other side and very happy with my life.
That said, the ex husband seems to be full of rage towards me for some weird reason, considering it was HE who had the affair and left the family. He makes snidey comments to our kids about me and if I bump into him in the local area, he literally grimaces and looks like he'd like to rip my head off!
What the hell could be going on?

Good to see you and your DC aren't bitter about this OP, but really, what a pathetic specimen he seems.

@VivaVivaa - I'm howling! I was about to say nearly the same thing! He's buggered his life up whilst you are sorted and no doubt fabulous!

He's a daft old sod.

An old lecturer of mine from uni had a penchant for younger women / his students.

He had a long-term partner (not married) who worked overseas, so it allowed him a lot of freedom.

He had a fling with a student and accidentally impregnated her.

He referred to the situation as getting a ‘parking fine’.

I mean, this is the level of class and charm we’re dealing with, when it comes to these men.

It’s all fun and games when it’s illicit sex with a hot younger model.

Not so much when you’re 50/60 and parenting pre-schoolers.

These men never seem to be able to connect the dots.

The person you’re having the hot sex with just so happens to be a sentient human, who invariably wants more than just sex. Before he knows it, he’s right back into dull old domesticity, only this time - looking down the barrel of 20 more years of it - instead of at the end of it, and able to enjoy life with more freedom, less domestic responsibility, and more disposable income.

But hey, hopefully a few weeks of hot sex was worth it!

😂snorted at that!

Howling with laughter at that! Not funny at the time re missing the graduation, but I am sure that when he was in the first throes of passion with the OW he never envisaged it panning out like that

Given the information about the new wife's penchant for jealousy I imagine it wasn't a coincidence that Peppa Pig was booked for the same day as his child's graduation.

The fact that your kids can laugh at this shows how ridiculous your adult children must find their father.

And I imagine they aren't the only ones.

Oh my goodness!!

Was the grown up child ok with it?

A couple of things here OP.

He’s 56, and has a 5&2 year old. This made me nearly pee my pants in laughter. He will be knackered.

All his mates will be playing golf, going to concerts, going away for the weekend, and having post kiddie fun. Your ex has to do the weekly shop and probably all other chores.

New wife is 19 years younger and from Asia. Newish to the UK.

I actually lived in Asia for 17 years, and I hate to say this, but there are a large number of ladies from certain countries who will go after someone older, for their money, get a few DC under their belt, then use them as their cash cow. I’ve even heard some use the phrase “milk the cow dead”. What’s more is, your older white guy, is perceived to be loaded, and his £ is fair game to the whole of their extended family. This is all a well known fact to anyone who has lived in Asia.

Your ex had his head turned by someone 19 years younger, who may have used every trick in the book to hook him. He’ll be onto DC no3 pretty soon. I bet she gives him unbelievable amounts of shit for having given you or your DC any money.

Basically he’s fucking miserable and probably living in hell. It’s not about you, but he took it out on you because he thinks he still has a connection to you via the DC. In his head, you may still be his wife.

The best revenge is to live well. Don’t worry about weddings as she’ll never let him go. He’ll be working till he’s 70, but tbh I doubt he’ll make it to that.

You are well rid of him. Keep his toxic shit away from you. Don’t acknowledge him in future, but do make sure you always look fabulous when visiting that supermarket, and you’ve always got a bottle of something sparkling on top of your trolley to rub salt into his wounds.

So he hadn't seen you in the first place, but you made sure you were noticed?

Not saying his reaction was ok, but you could have passed by without making your presence known... so this does make me wonder if you know exactly why he feels like this towards you (cleaned him out in divorce perhaps?) and enjoy a reaction?

@WillYouPutYourCoatOn well, he can still afford peppa pig farm

Oh FGS if I bumped into my ex-DH of over 25 years in the supermarket I would say hello and expect a civil hello back. Not sidle by like I was ashamed.

How does someone clean someone out in a divorce?

Do you mean the Op may have got what she was legally entitled to?

I think some people are just unhappy and/or angry and they look for a target. Unfortunately, exes are an easy target.
Plus he can't justify leaving for someone else without blaming the first wife. He can't admit, even to himself, that he was silly and foolish and valued young flesh over love and loyalty. Many reasons, really.

I'm surprised at how many people are reading into this, that he is angry because he has small children, as if that is a negative. The men I know enjoy family life, even if they are tired.

OP, I'm glad you are getting so much support. Whatever it is, it's coming from within him.

OP I've been reading this thread whilst re-watching Wolf Hall. Ann Boleyn has just miscarried their second child. Henry has just turned to Cromwell and said "it's Katherine I blame".

You've quoted me in an attack of the OW despite my post clearly saying I was not. I have no reason to lie to strangers on an anonymous forum.

So you can tell who the OW are can you? Not in this case or is your smug first wife status hindering your ability to read?

Very “amusing”!

I bet the trip to peppa pig world was fun;screaming,crying kids,a dinner of chicken nuggets & fruit shoots with lots of toilet trips whereas you got a day of civilised adult company and conversation at your DC's graduation with a peaceful delightful meal and a glass of wine afterwards.

This thread has been throughly entertaining;it's lovely to see a cheating shitbag get bitten very hard by karma.

Give it time;he'll probably start having illicit sex with someone else as the mistress is now the wife so she's left a vacancy.

You can laugh even harder at the miserable when he's having two kids EOW and shelling out CM.

He'll probably have to work until he dies as a second divorce will kill him financially at his age.

He might have cheated and left but you definitely dodged a bullet not being married to him anymore.

Slinking past him, or back tracking down the aisle, hoping he doesn’t see you would be way (way) weirder!

Doubt sex is happening anymore 😂

Come on OP, indulge us.

What did you walk away with? I hope you got more than 50% and he’s now financially screwed.

Doubt sex is happening anymore 😂

Probably used as a tool to keep him in check. Probably withheld when she realised he’s not loaded.

You aren't a bitch, it's karma.

He sounds a total twit. I think he probably has an insecure wife and a fragile ego - and can see the smirk of victory in your eyes.

I hope losing this husband turned your hair quite golden.

hahahaha! That takes him to 96 years old! That bitch Karma is the gift that just keeps giving.

Somehow, I can't see this. I just can't. That would make him even nastier than some of us are saying he is. He can't be that petty, can he? I'd rather give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he has a reason for being such a fucking bastard.

Obviously we don’t know the OP or her ex husband. We don’t know the financial situation, maybe they are both comfortable, or just getting by. Or maybe he’s loaded. Who knows ?.

But I find his reaction in a supermarket bizarre. My parents are divorced but would be civil to eachother if they ever meet.

It’s part of being a grown up. You move on , and try to latest be civil in public.

If the OPs ex husband was truly happy, he wouldn’t have acted that way when he saw her in the supermarket. So my guess is he isn’t happy with how things turned out. Otherwise why would he give such a bizarre reaction to her ?