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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friends who won't stop giving gifts

4 replies

steppinginto2024 · 27/12/2023 11:47

We've been friends with a couple for decades. The female of the couple has always bought presents for us and the children. This was fine when they were kids. Now the kids are all grown up and in their 20s. She's still doing it and I'm struggling to get through to her that it's really not necessary anymore. We've stopped buying for their kids. Yesterday, she dropped off a bag of presents for the family. It's stuff that she wouldn't dream of eating (think candied jellies, cheap chocolate liqueurs - the stuff of leftover xmas raffle prizes (which is where I strongly suspect they came from as she's a teacher). We'd not eat them either and she knows this.

How do I get her to stop? I've tried saying before 'let's not do presents this year'. She stopped that one time but then resumed the year after. It makes me feel uncomfortable especially as I can't afford to buy for her family now. So, suggested strategies to make her stop?

OP posts:
Peachtails · 27/12/2023 11:50

Maybe she's of the opinion that you don't give to receive.

Just gracefully accept and donate or share out.

TrashedSofa · 27/12/2023 12:55

She's evidently using you as a way to dispose of her unwanted stuff, so I wouldn't be feeling uncomfortable about not buying back for her. It's not like she'd welcome a load of similar food tat even if you could afford it.

comfyshoes2022 · 27/12/2023 13:00

Peachtails · 27/12/2023 11:50

Maybe she's of the opinion that you don't give to receive.

Just gracefully accept and donate or share out.

Exactly.

grayhairdontcare · 27/12/2023 14:32

You are the dumping ground for unwanted tombola prizes and teachers gifts... send her a link to the olio app so someone in need can have them

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