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Original poster

help me process this date

31 replies

notsuredate · 17/12/2023 16:59

Third date with a guy I met from Bumble

In short the date was pleasant and we didn’t stop talking

That being said, no idea if he fancies me
No compliment
Didn’t say say anything nice about me
We spent a long time talking about his anxiety, therapy
I ended up paying for the bill as he was faffing around so much and made a point of halving it and it was getting tricky
He said that was a big deal to him (it wasn’t expensive)
I said you can get the next one
He didn’t reply
So I said get me a take away coffee which he did
No talk of meeting up again
No excitement or sexual tension
I dropped him off in my car as we were having a nice chat and his place was on my way home
He was chatty, open and nice tho

He asked me to let him know if I go to the gym later and kissed me on the cheek

I’ve been out of dating practice for so long

He’s not into me, is he? I don’t feel it

usually you should by third date ?

OP posts:
Opentooffers · 17/12/2023 19:12

By only 3rd date extensively going on about his MH issues! Just bin, MH issues are draining and consuming, and sure, it might be reasonable to stick by and support a person who develops them once in a relationship, but don't choose to have to do that for someone you don't know. You can choose someone who is less complicated.
Apart from that, either he is not into you, or just as likely he has no idea on things, can't read a room, and is repressed or cold emotionally- none of which are good. Just leave it, value yourself more.

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 17/12/2023 19:13

notsuredate · 17/12/2023 19:10

So I wrote him a lovely msg to say I wasn’t sure there was a romantic connection and better to stick as friends

he said oh totally, he feels the same, and if romance were to happen, it might just happen

i said this after the first date and posted about it here and he convinced me to meet him again 😂🙈

I wouldn’t let him try to reel you in if romance might happen talk.

Did MN tell you to give him a second chance after the first date?

Olika · 17/12/2023 19:32

Well at least you can move on. Just don't waste your time next time. If there's nothing special about him on the first date, just say no to further dates.

scoobydoo1971 · 17/12/2023 19:37

This won't get better. If he is that right in the early days, he is going to be a right miser later on. There is nothing more attractive than a date that cannot pay their share. If this is the best version of himself that he can show you, it is best to throw him back in the sea now. It sounds like he wants a therapist friend rather than a partner.

daisychain01 · 17/12/2023 20:21

He sounds like a drag - who wants to spend an evening with a morose bore like that. You should be talking about positive things and having a laugh, not being his therapist.

time to raise your bar @notsuredate !

WmFnKdSg1234 · 18/12/2023 20:21

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain of course MN didn't!

I read it that OP was told to throw him back and she ignored the advice.

Is that a fair summation @notsuredate ?😀

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