Me & my ex together 3 years., broke up 3 months a ago due to me not trusting him about his previous weekly cocaine use he lied about for a year.
Since then he's sworn blind he's not used cocaine for years and he never will as I gave him a second chance the first time found.
Since then I've been a bit of a mess, I've kissed a few men on different nights out. Just acting really bad.
I've been hurting a lot not Cz I've missed him but Cz I felt lonely & we were planning on trying again after 2 miscarriages and now I didn't want to start again at 36 !
In 3 months we met up twice , I told him about the random kisses I've had he wasn't fussed n said we can work it out & loves me and wants to see if we can work it out. I did then change my mind and say no I don't want him and he was hurt but he will
Leave me alone.
Then Last week we agreed to see how it goes and I said even though I'm still hurt obv I still have feelings for him but no idea what type 🤷🏼♀️
And maybe we can meet up
Once a week and see how it pans out.Then Friday evening he arranged a date with some
Local girl after saying we agreed etc.
My friend saw him on this date and sent me a photo of them. My heart sank and I called and text him all night like some nut job!
saying why is he on a date and I love him want him back and im sorry for kissing those guys and dropping him afterwards when he wanted me back ?! I'm not sure why I said this and now he says I don't think you really love me I you I it's out of comfortability and habit.
He said we can we meet up Tues eve next week once and for all to see if we can move forward and this date he took out Fri he told me he did that as he wanted to see what it was like without me and it wasn't for him he hated it as he missed me and made him realise that I'm
The one for him. And he's sorry.
In my mind I think why 3 days prior you agree to date , meet up be friends with benefits etc to see if we can work it out etc then arrange a date behind my back.
Who he said he has now ditched her!'
So in my mind I called him after I realised I was lonely needed attention but when I saw another woman dating him I felt extremely jealous.
I've arranged to still see him this Tues and as I'm so confused . I don't know whether to stop flogging a dead horse or just see if we can just be togther ?! What questions should I need to ask him too see if he has changed as he said he would.
Frustrated as I have enough reasons to get back to my . It's such a mess and I feel so lost.