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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

'Open to children' on Hinge app

9 replies

James637 · 29/10/2023 13:36

Hey all,

I've been browsing the grim world of OLD the last few weeks and notice a lot of Women choose the option 'Open to children'. What exactly does this mean? I know obviously it means they are open to having children but why not choose the 'Not Sure' option? What's the difference?

Also, I've noticed around 50% of profiles don't select a preference for kids at all. Are these people all ambivalent or just lazy doing their profiles lol?

It seems that the options on OLD need to be refined a little. I personally can't see myself having children anytime soon and I'm a 35 year old guy, but I could see myself adopting older kids maybe at 45 if I felt a missed the boat.

Now what option do I choose? lol

OP posts:
Helenahandkart · 29/10/2023 14:07

I imagine that ‘open to children’ probably means ‘I want children but I don’t want to scare anyone off by stating that explicitly’

PermanentTemporary · 29/10/2023 14:10

I would assume that those women are both open to having children and also open to people who already have children.

I would guess that their experience of 'not sure' is perhaps people like you who in fact have zero interest in having children but haven't quite realised it yet or don't want to put women who want children off despite being likely to let them down on that front, and they are much more positive about the idea themselves?

Maybe ask them.

category12 · 29/10/2023 14:12

Does it mean open to the men having children already?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 29/10/2023 14:15

I would take ‘not sure’ to mean ‘I’m not sure if I would want children even if all of the circumstances were right for it it and my partner wanted them, it might still be a no.’

On the other hand I would take ‘open to children’ to mean ‘Having a child isn’t a deal breaker for me but if I was in a situation where the circumstances were right for it and my partner wanted them I would be happy to have them too.’

James637 · 29/10/2023 14:16

MolkosTeenageAngst · 29/10/2023 14:15

I would take ‘not sure’ to mean ‘I’m not sure if I would want children even if all of the circumstances were right for it it and my partner wanted them, it might still be a no.’

On the other hand I would take ‘open to children’ to mean ‘Having a child isn’t a deal breaker for me but if I was in a situation where the circumstances were right for it and my partner wanted them I would be happy to have them too.’

Yes this is how I read it as well!

OP posts:
SisterMichaelsHabit · 29/10/2023 14:17

category12 · 29/10/2023 14:12

Does it mean open to the men having children already?

This.

James637 · 29/10/2023 14:20

SisterMichaelsHabit · 29/10/2023 14:17

This.

But then if they select it for that reason, what about having their own kids? They can only select one preference, so is that saying they don't want their own children but would be open to dating someone with kids or they want their own kids and will date someone who already has them.

OP posts:
ToBeOrNotToBee · 29/10/2023 14:32

I have that on my profile.
I would love to have a family. With the right man. I'm not in any rush, and certainly will be taking things slow before I (we) decide that a family is on the cards.
If it transpires that he doesn't want children, or there's health issues, no problem. My life is pretty fulfilling as it is now.
Hence Open To Children.

James637 · 29/10/2023 14:37

ToBeOrNotToBee · 29/10/2023 14:32

I have that on my profile.
I would love to have a family. With the right man. I'm not in any rush, and certainly will be taking things slow before I (we) decide that a family is on the cards.
If it transpires that he doesn't want children, or there's health issues, no problem. My life is pretty fulfilling as it is now.
Hence Open To Children.

Yes this is how I see it, like I could take it or leave it. Otherwise you would just put 'want children'

OP posts:
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