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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is something going on here with someone else?

6 replies

LesMom6849 · 23/10/2023 18:00

I’ve been dating someone for nearly a year now, another woman, however over the last 3-4 weeks or so, I’ve had an inkling that they are potentially seeing someone else…

We live a couple of hours away, but have talked about moving in together at some point in the future, so we don’t see each other during the week at the moment. There has been 3 different occasions now over the last 3 weeks where a ‘friend’ of hers has been randomly attending events where she shouldn’t be at… it’s to do with sports that GF does but her friend doesn’t… which means that GF has been taking this friend with her and not telling me.

For example, she said that she was going to watch a show with her sports team but then I found out from photos that were posted that this friend who doesn’t even know her sports team was there too… so obviously GF has taken her with her and not mentioned it, and then today her and her sports team was going out after their match and this friend is in the photos again today… meaning that GF has taken her along to her match so her friend can watch her and again not mentioned this to me.

AIBU to find this really weird and to think something is going on? How do I even ask her about this?

edited to add - she has also been out until really late, being quite vague about where she has been and not even looking at my messages whilst out recently too…

OP posts:
category12 · 23/10/2023 18:10

Nothing massively weird about taking a friend to events of itself.

If there's been a change in how your gf treats you and she seems to have cooled towards you, then maybe it is that her head has been turned or she's having doubts.

You can only go with your gut - if it feels like she's pulling away, you're probably right. I wouldn't go in with the potentially cheating thing though.

LesMom6849 · 23/10/2023 18:14

I agree nothing weird with taking a friend… but it’s the hiding it and lying about who is going that concerns me…

OP posts:
category12 · 23/10/2023 18:28

If I'm going to something, I wouldn't necessarily tell my bf who I was going with - not because I was hiding something or lying, but because it wouldn't occur to me that it was relevant. It might come up, it might not. (We have a living apart relationship).

I guess if she would normally give details of exactly who she's with, it's a behaviour change.

MrsDaniFilth · 23/10/2023 18:30

seems like its probably either cheating - or the pre-cursor to cheating.

why can't people just be decent?

LesMom6849 · 23/10/2023 19:49

Called her out on it and she’s been seeing this girl behind my back the entire time… so that’s great!

OP posts:
MrsDaniFilth · 23/10/2023 19:50

Ah sorry OP. 🌺

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