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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I need to get out

57 replies

ineedtogetou · 21/10/2023 05:55

Tonight has been a lightbulb moment for me and I need to get out of this relationship.

Been with my partner around 5 years. Live together, children but none together.

What started as a 'discussion tonight' about me saying women get it rougher than men in society (as far as I'm aware a well known fact) and him trying with all his might to argue it that it's just that people don't try hard enough. No matter how much I stressed the 'mum' gets the sick days, mat leave, generally mental load etc he was not having it. It was a general conversation about women vs men. I was then told to 'stop making excuses for myself'. I actually wasn't even on about me. I have a good career I enjoy and earn a decent wage. He has it in his head he'll be a millionaire in the next few years, he runs a business so may be, but tbh I don't care I don't want to live off his money nor would I be 'retiring' on it. We aren't married.

He then goes onto saying asking 'who's successful and who is stood still?'meaning me, I'm not I have had 3 job moves in around 5 years to progress and earn more and I'm happy where I am. Starts saying how I am 'falling behind' wtf!?

He wouldn't stop when I asked him to so walked off and he said 'doesn't matter I'll be out of here in a few years anyway' fuck off using my house and my money to get you set up in your business, so I told him he actually could just go now he doesn't need to wait around and left the room.

He then comes after me telling me to 'drop it' even though I hadn't even done anything and telling me not to watch 'his tv' as his money paid for that, however it's 'my house' I didn't say this and just ignored him. He told me to go upstairs or he would lock the door in 5 mins. Bedroom door now locked so I'm locked out of my own bedroom in my own house. I haven't slept all night. Waiting for a decent hour so I can drop my kids to their dad where they are going anyway and then somehow get him out.

Please tell me I am not overreacting here. He has form for this kind of talk and I've just had enough.

We had a conversation about contraception the other day which he says 'affects my mood' it doesn't, he does. So I suggested the snip, obviously met with a no, as that's 'my problem, not his'.

OP posts:
ISeeARedDoorAndIWantToBreakIn · 22/10/2023 10:30

Make sure you change the locks so he can’t get back in. Even if he’s given you his keys, he could have made a copy. I wouldn’t put it past a man like that to go into your house and trash it whilst you’re out.

jeaux90 · 22/10/2023 15:44

Well done OP

CharlieUniformNovemberTangoYankee · 22/10/2023 15:57

Good on you OP.

Am just so utterly sick of pathetic, inadequate men and their tantrumming micro penis energy.

He's no loss to your life. Up the independent women!

FlyingMonkeyNever · 22/10/2023 16:04

Well done! I’m very impressed with the speed at which you kicked him out.

ParisianBedBug · 22/10/2023 18:34

yes change the locks! Get a video cam on all entrances if you havent already.

ineedtogetou · 24/10/2023 22:52

I said to him he needed to be out by the time I got home. He refused and wanted to sort things. I simply said you can go on your own or I'll come back with the police. Think he saw sense realising I wasn't messing around and decided eventually to listen and just go.

OP posts:
postitnote8 · 25/10/2023 22:14

Hope you are doing okay OP. Is that vile man still keeping well clear of you?

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