How can you know he's a nice guy?

[Mimi198]

Is it me who's just naive ? Had a long term relationship with a guy who was everything I wanted at the begining. Caring, well respected at his job, kind with women and children, good relations with his family, polite, very caring with me overall. But the minute we lived together, he stopped making efforts and it was clear he was more looking for a second mother or a cleaner than a life partner. Fastfoward 2023, just got out of a short relationship with a guy who seems the perfect gentlemen and he kind of ghost me! Didnt see that one coming ! I used to have a good flair, now I'm thinking i have loose it 😫

From my previous experience if they claim "I'm a nice guy" alot...they actually say it over and over....they ain't...they are just trying to trick themselves into it.

I'm sorry this happened lovie. Lucky escape x

If I told you the truth about us men it would be difficult for you to accept. We are not as women want us to be, just as they are not as we want them to be. If I had more information I could tell you why he ghosted you but I will give you a general truth.

99% of men are genetically programmed to want to sleep with every attractive woman they see. If you date a really attractive guy, he is likely to either move on, or stay with you and have affairs.

To get a nice guy, a less attractive guy is generally the way to go. Attractive men know they can treat women badly and just attract more women, but an average guy will be nice to keep a woman around.

Also men will sleep with women they do not consider attractive enough for a relationship so it's important to know you are what he is looking for.

@Honest2afault It's true that some men are as you describe, but I think there are also a lot of men who are nicer and more loyal. I know some good-looking men who seem very happy with their partners, and conversely there are some average-looking men who are not nice.

That's fair, it's only really possible to talk in general terms about men and women so it is technically possible that an attractive man will be faithful, it's just very unlikely and of course incredibly difficult to attract such a man.

I do hope it is not the case !

I’m not sure your examples dictate whether a man is a good one or bad one. It seems to me that incompatibility played a part each time.

the only thing I know for sure is if they say that are a ‘good guy’ they most definitely aren’t.

I would also add though if you do not meet the basic criteria for what attractive men are looking for, stay away from them because they will 99.9% just be looking for sex.