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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I overreacting or is this assault?

26 replies

Gnomie93 · 26/08/2023 14:47

I had invited my long term friend over for ‘fun’, it was a rebound situationship following a bad break up so my mind probably wasn’t in the right place.

we started to fool around, and just before he tried to put his penis in, I told him to put on a condom, he replied ‘Not yet’ and then proceeded to continue without, I put my hand on him and said ‘condom’ again. He proceeded to collapse his chest against me and carry on. At this point I just allowed it to happen and he quickly pulled out and ejaculate. I was abit dazed and confused but acted my normal self throughout the night.

I obviously woke up and got teary and instantly went to get the emergency contraceptive. I text him saying he shouldn’t have not put a condom on and he said ‘sorry I’ll pay for half’.

is this assault? I have now blocked him on every platform.

OP posts:
billy1966 · 26/08/2023 23:19

monsteramunch · 26/08/2023 17:51

@CollagenQueen

If you had a son / nephew / new boyfriend, who described this scenario to you, would you be happy to call him a rapist?

If they were asked, let alone repeatedly, to wear a condom, refused to do so and then penetrated the woman without putting on a condom?

Yes I would call them a rapist. Because they have committed rape in my option - sex the woman has not consented to. Unprotected sex. Not only ignoring her right to consent but also putting her at risk of STIs and pregnancy.

This case is even more awful as he used his physical strength to ensure OP couldn't physically pull away, collapsing his chest against her.

Absolutely this.

You poor woman.

He raped you.

I am so sorry.

Have you considered reporting him?

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