Hi all :) hoping you can help with this!
Soo in a drunken game of Never Have I Ever with my bf (been with him for 1.5 years, we don't live together), a question came up "never have I ever dated anyone famous" which I didn't drink to and he did. Naturally, I asked who this famous person was and realised pretty soon that it would have been an influencer (he seems to follow quite a few on Instagram), to which he replied yes she's in a girl band etc.. so I got curious and asked more questions, to which he responded nonchalantly "she was hot" and "it was 5 years ago, we made out and that's it, nothing really happened" - whatever, we all have a past. But then naturally I wanted to know who this woman was so I checked her out on Instagram and she was honestly the most stunning girl I have ever actually seen like woah.. In that moment I felt my self-esteem just droppp.😐
It's worth mentioning that towards the end of that convo I did feel the need to say that I do feel a bit insecure sometimes and to be honest he wasn't getting it, kept asking me "why". But he did mention that he thinks I'm prettier etc (we've had convos about him following/liking influencer/celeb photos before and he was cool about it).
Now to add to that, I noticed he was still following this girl and he even liked a few of her recent photos over the last 4 months? And none before May this year.. this was checked on the same night we had our date/the drinking game. What was even more interesting was that the next morning I checked again (because I just self-sabotage like crazy) and he had gone in and unliked those few photos. Of course he knew I was going to check her out - perhaps he took into account what I said about the insecurities and didn't want me to feel bad so that part doesn't really annoy me, what annoys me is the fact he liked the photos in the first place and still follows her?
It's the mentality thing I don't get. Why not just unfollow if he's going to unlike the photos lol?
I've been told I'm beautiful by him and my friends etc before so it's not like I'm not necessarily "attractive", however the fact that he still follows her and liked some of her stuff just makes my stomach churn.
He's not given me any reason to believe anything would be going on and I trust him generally, but I guess it has put a real downer on my self-esteem and made me feel pretty uncomfortable - can't really understand why he would still need to follow her?
Any insight you can provide on this would be most helpful as I just feel like I don't know how to process this lol.
Thank you!!💛