EX quit his job to avoid paying child maintenance

Doggymummar · 21/08/2023 19:22

I don't think there is anything you can do is there? What a twat though

CandyLeBonBon · 21/08/2023 19:23

GoldenEllis · 21/08/2023 19:21

Just received a letter from HMRC to inform ex has quit his job of 5 years, last week. He happened to message last week also to say he filed for divorce. I'm very surprised as he has a very comfortable wfh position with great income. He owns our home and pays the mortgage too. Whilst separated (almost 2 years) he completely abandoned young DC - doesn't call or visit so I applied for CM (2 months ago) and was awarded the full entitlement. He never contacts, however last week and for the first time, he sent 12 videos of him away on holiday for DC to see.

I find it all very strange...not too sure what to do about this? Anyone been through something similar?

Are you also on the mortgage?

Original poster

GoldenEllis · 21/08/2023 19:25

CandyLeBonBon · 21/08/2023 19:23

Are you also on the mortgage?

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No, I am not. I asked him a few years ago to put me on, he refused.

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Pablothepalm · 21/08/2023 19:55

Make sure you reserve your home eights through a lawyer.

sorry, can’t help with any other advice.

i wasn’t on the mortgage but my solicitor registered my homerights and that application held. I also applied for a D11 freezing order so he couldn’t dispose of the assets. Go you!!

I’m sorry he’s being a twat but a judge will see through that and might award you a larger % of the assets

Igmum · 22/08/2023 09:29

Yup. My ex quit his job to avoid CMS as well. Fortunately I work and frankly I suspect he suffers a lot more from this, from poor mental health because he isn't working, than we do. But yes, it is a dick move.

See a solicitor about the house OP. If you're married you should have a claim anyway even if you're not on the deeds. Sorry you're going through this and good luck

Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:19

Pablothepalm · 21/08/2023 19:55

Make sure you reserve your home eights through a lawyer.

sorry, can’t help with any other advice.

i wasn’t on the mortgage but my solicitor registered my homerights and that application held. I also applied for a D11 freezing order so he couldn’t dispose of the assets. Go you!!

I’m sorry he’s being a twat but a judge will see through that and might award you a larger % of the assets

Thankfully, I registered my home rights in 2021 before he put the house up for sale. I was protected and the agency immediately took the property off the market.

I hope so.

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DifficultBloodyWoman · 22/08/2023 13:26

I find it strange that HMRC would contact you to let you know your ex quit his job last week.

What was the reason for that?

minipie · 22/08/2023 13:29

Presume CMS not HMRC?

Aylestone · 22/08/2023 13:32

My bil did this. He had quite a good job as well, cms barely put a dent in it. I can’t get how much of a scumbag you’d have to be to actually choose to go without money yourself and go onto benefits so you can screw your own children out of money

Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:35

DifficultBloodyWoman · 22/08/2023 13:26

I find it strange that HMRC would contact you to let you know your ex quit his job last week.

What was the reason for that?

Although he moved out, yet he still receives mail to the property. Our agreement is that I make him aware of post received, open and send photos. Previously, a family member was instructed to collect his mail but that didn't work out.

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taxguru · 22/08/2023 13:37

Aylestone · 22/08/2023 13:32

My bil did this. He had quite a good job as well, cms barely put a dent in it. I can’t get how much of a scumbag you’d have to be to actually choose to go without money yourself and go onto benefits so you can screw your own children out of money

Far more likely he's now working under the radar in the black economy so still earning money, but not only not paying CMS, but also not paying tax, NIC etc. It's far too common and needs to be addressed, but unfortunately HMRC are hopeless and useless these days.

becksbeer123 · 22/08/2023 13:37

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Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:37

Aylestone · 22/08/2023 13:32

My bil did this. He had quite a good job as well, cms barely put a dent in it. I can’t get how much of a scumbag you’d have to be to actually choose to go without money yourself and go onto benefits so you can screw your own children out of money

Exactly my thought!

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Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:39

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It's a P45 Details of employee leaving work. Sorry I should've made things clearer in my message.

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Mindymomo · 22/08/2023 13:39

My friends ex quit his job as a lorry driver, he said he had a bad back. Left her with 4 children, so she didn’t get any maintenance. He then got together with another lady, who had several children and the ex DH stayed at home looking after them.

BananaSlug · 22/08/2023 13:40

Not had a maintenance payment in 6 years 🤷🏻‍♀️

MintJulia · 22/08/2023 13:42

Maybe he's just changing jobs.

Maybe he's making a point, creating a lot of admin hassle for you and intends to take another job shortly.

If the house is frozen he can't sell without you knowing, so he can't live off the proceeds of a sale. Unless he has a trust fund, a sugar mummy or a sudden inheritance, he'll soon get fed up of not having any money. And he's damaging his own pension as well as depriving his own children.

He sounds like a lazy petulant knob. I think you are well rid of him.

Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:43

He also blocked me on Linkedin about 4 weeks ago (around the same time of when he perhaps handed his resignation letter).

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LonelyFlans · 22/08/2023 13:43

If it's a P45 could it be that he's just changed his job? (Grasping at straws here)

PaintedEgg · 22/08/2023 13:44

if this is genuinely why he quit his job then im simply amazed that some people would literally poison their own well just so they wouldn't need to share the water

what would be his long term plan? to never work again?

becksbeer123 · 22/08/2023 13:45

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KatesCoke · 22/08/2023 13:45

DifficultBloodyWoman · 22/08/2023 13:26

I find it strange that HMRC would contact you to let you know your ex quit his job last week.

What was the reason for that?

Me too. How would they know and why would they alert you if they did… Bizarre.

BananaSlug · 22/08/2023 13:47

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he doesn’t work so no

MintJulia · 22/08/2023 13:47

If he hasn't contacted his dcs in two years and then suddenly sent videos of him on holiday, having a great time, I suggest those videos were directed at you, not the dcs.

I hope you didn't share them. How would that make a child feel - 'here's a picture of Daddy having a good time without you.' Honestly - some people really aren't worth the air they breathe. 😮

Original poster

GoldenEllis · 22/08/2023 13:49

KatesCoke · 22/08/2023 13:45

Me too. How would they know and why would they alert you if they did… Bizarre.

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Sorry I should've made it clear. He asked me to open his letters and send him photos because he moved to another country (this has been going on for a while). Family member who lives nearby and was asked to collect his mail no longer wants to be involved.

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