Now what to do

[NowWhattt]

Aah man. We arrived tonight in our yearly beautiful retreat with the children. It’s beautiful and my favourite place to go with my DH and our two girls . I can never sleep in a new and strange bed so whilst everyone is fast asleep, I’ve been whiling away the hours on my phone.

I am already on Facebook but not on Instagram. Not that social media savvy at all. Thought I’d take a peek as DH is on both .

Don’t quite know what to do or say, but basically I’ve seen on Instagram that my husband has been following what seems to be a very scantily dressed woman with a few sleazy videos accompanying it. I feel quite sick.

I saw that he has been followed by lots of big busted women half naked etc hence why I then looked to see who he has been following.

So far I think that there are two or three he might be following .

I don’t like this - it has made me feel very uncomfortable. Am I overreacting?

Fwiw .. our sex life has been shit for a while. Now I know why ☹️

Thoughts please ?

Anyone ?

Do nothing while you are away. Screen shot your evidence where he won’t find it.
Many people follow scantily clad men/women, you need to decide how you feel about it, and if it’s enough to be the end.

Depends how many people he follows tbh. If he's following 2000 accounts and 2 or 3 are of these women (who's profiles no doubt are advertising for their only fans page), then I wouldn't be too worried. If he's only following 20 others then it's a bit more concerning

Just horrible. I couldn't put up with this.

Is his account private? I looked at my exs account (when we were still together) and saw him being followed by a bevy of scantily clad women. He was genuinely mortified when I showed him, and he may have been many things but he wasn't a cheat or a liar. If the account is open and he doesn't check anyone can follow and these women's accounts will trawl for numbers of links. Him following others is a different story. I was at least able to see my ex followed very little and nothing akin to the women who had got on to his instagram!

Sorry, just seen that you say he is also following, that's a whole different dynamic of 'just no'

It's up to you how you feel about this OP, but to be honest I'd say it's pretty common. Talk to him (maybe after the holiday) about it and explain how you feel - he may be a bit defensive but hopefully you can find a way forward.

Thank you for the replies.
I went down and poured a large glass of wine at about 2am as still couldn’t sleep.
Husband asked me what I was doing - foolishly I said what I had found, and of course he denied it. He got very angry and said I was mistaken.

I am not mistaken. I know what I saw and i took screenshots of it all.

It’s really rocked me to be honest. I already have dire mental health and this is just another added thing to worry about.

As I said before our sex life is shit. He blames it on his health issues. I blame it on the death grip and him no longer interested in me sexually- despite being a very jealous husband around me with other men.

Jeez.

This is shit. I can’t put up with this Can I?
I know what I saw so how can I trust him?

An, so there’s porn in there as well .

Well I presume that there is porn.

Perhaps I am wrong but given our sex life has gone downhill I’m guessing that’s why- as judging by what I have seen , he’s still very
much interested in sex.

He blames his low libido on his health issues . I blame porn, well, did blame porn.

After what I have seen I feel very unattractive to him, and that’s a horrible feeling.