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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

AIBU - radio silence

9 replies

Itstime2023 · 14/08/2023 22:40

Got home from work. Husband not home. Messaged to find out where he is.

He replies "oops forgot to hit send"

I reply "ok"

He replies in (insert town name.... With Insert friends name)

I reply "ok, so have you eaten? What's the deal shall I sort myself out"?

He replies "I had wings"

I replied saying "cool, I'll eat at home. Do you want me to pick you up? Let me know about ten minutes before hand."

This was 3 hours ago. He hasn't read the messages according to wattsapp. I know he has his watch on as well and he gets his messages on there and there is no chance he hasn't looked at his phone for 3 hours. Maybe it's died because he went straight from work but then his friend could have messaged me.

It's fine he's gone out with his friend. He hasn't seen her in weeks, I get they have a lot to catch up on.

What's bothering me is, we've spoken about this before, I've said to him I hate it when he just doesn't bother to reply to messages. Because I don't buy it that he hasn't looked at his phone or watch for three hours. I feel mugged off. I have no idea when he is going on to be home, if he's ok. I'm just sat here waiting for him to return.

Some one give me a reality check, tell me if I'm being unreasonable 😂

OP posts:
ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 14/08/2023 22:49

Why do you need to know?

Message him to take a taxi.

Nevermay · 14/08/2023 22:53

you did send him an usually high number of messages, and he did answer most of them. He isn't going to carry on answering indefinitely, is he - he is having a conversation with someone else at the moment, not you. I would have lost my patience and stopped answering before he did

UndercoverCop · 14/08/2023 22:54

He told you where he was, who he is with and that he's eaten. You said let me know ten minutes before if you need a lift, surely he doesn't need to reply until then minutes before he needs a lift?

youtwoandme · 14/08/2023 23:11

Way more to this than you're letting on OP isn't there?

autienotnaughti · 14/08/2023 23:35

It read like you will pick him up and he just needs to message when ready. I'd have said let me know if you need picking up by X time

Original poster
Itstime2023 · 14/08/2023 23:36

youtwoandme · 14/08/2023 23:11

Way more to this than you're letting on OP isn't there?

Maybe there is deep down.
I think I'm just annoyed because I've told him before I like to be kept in the loop maybe that's something I need to work on myself.

OP posts:
CrapBucket · 14/08/2023 23:39

Is the woman straight? I think I’d be annoyed if my husband was unexpectedly out with a woman other than his sister/mum/etc and cba to even let me know if he’d like a lift later. But then again I’m single so perhaps just cynical.

Original poster
Itstime2023 · 14/08/2023 23:42

CrapBucket · 14/08/2023 23:39

Is the woman straight? I think I’d be annoyed if my husband was unexpectedly out with a woman other than his sister/mum/etc and cba to even let me know if he’d like a lift later. But then again I’m single so perhaps just cynical.

Yeah but also in a relationship.

OP posts:
Wakintoblueskies · 14/08/2023 23:51

Nevermay · 14/08/2023 22:53

you did send him an usually high number of messages, and he did answer most of them. He isn't going to carry on answering indefinitely, is he - he is having a conversation with someone else at the moment, not you. I would have lost my patience and stopped answering before he did

This.

Its irritating to keep being interrupted by text messages and its rude to keep reading them when in someone's company.

You're not his mother. I'm sure he can make it home independently.

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