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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me make sense

3 replies

Whathapp · 13/08/2023 11:13

I was in a relationship with a guy who was extremely keen on me for 7 months. Things moved very quickly and we were committed and in love. Lots of serious talk about how things would progress - he said he hadn’t felt this in years. It felt real and natural didn’t feel like love bombing. My friends met him and loved him - they were so happy I’d met someone decent. A few months later, he started blowing hot and cold - no idea why. I tried to talk about it and he would just say it’s work stress. We had a week long trip booked, he said he was so excited and couldn’t wait to spend it with me. Two weeks later, due to work stress, we were both a little crabby. Then a week later he dumped me. Said he didn’t feel how he should about me. That he needs to be alone and find himself. After the break up, my friend sends me a screenshot of him ‘active’ on bumble and hinge.

What actual hell ?

OP posts:
TwilightSkies · 13/08/2023 11:25

What do you need to make sense of? People say things all the time, ‘I’ve never felt this way’, ‘We are gonna be together forever’. They’re just words. 7 months is nowhere near long enough to truly know a person.

Will trying to find a reason for it ending make you feel better?

Specso · 13/08/2023 11:37

Love bomber.

Anyone who is that full on early in a relationship is a massive red flag. It’s all very well being keen on each other but if talk is turning to moving in, future plans and confessions of love and being the one etc after a few months its a cause for concern. You don’t even know someone properly at that point.

He’s ended it because he’s just decided it’s not what he wants, not because he’s stressed or needs to ‘find himself’. He’ll be telling the next person everything he told you, it’s just how some people are. sorry this has happened, hope you’re ok.

Whathapp · 13/08/2023 11:44

Thanks Specso why do they do it?

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