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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He forgot my birthday

15 replies

Mamachef29 · 04/08/2023 20:44

My partner forgot my birthday. He didn’t save any money or plan anything.

We have just moved house which is expensive but he has spent money on his hobbies during that time, so he has had funds and time.

I even sent him the child benefit money to his account a couple of days before (I am subtle I asked him to go shopping)

On my birthday morning I opened my cards and small gifts from the kids which was so sweet. I knew that we were getting paid the following day so I didn’t make a fuss.

next day, nothing.

fast forward a few days and £150 worth of hobby stuff for him arrived in the post. I opened the parcel stupidly thinking it was a gift for me. The order was dated payday.

fast forward almost two weeks, still nothing. Today he was supposed to take me shopping to apologise and make up for it. He was on his computer all day and said we can’t afford it.

I am crushed.

OP posts:
RandomForest · 04/08/2023 21:01

Selfish fucker.

Littlemisslonley · 04/08/2023 21:09

Selfish prick.....have you told him how you feel?

SpringleDingle · 04/08/2023 21:19

I’ve been there. Took me years to divorce him and ruined my self confidence. Ditch the miserable arsehole now. If he cared about you’d he’d have got you a gift… end of
💐 From me, because I DO care!

HundredMilesAnHour · 04/08/2023 21:25

Sorry to say this but he doesn't care about you. His actions say it all. Please don't stay with this man.

Original poster
Mamachef29 · 04/08/2023 21:40

Told him how I felt and we can’t afford to go shopping apparently.

OP posts:
category12 · 04/08/2023 21:43

How does he justify spending £150 on himself and fuck all on you?

Is he this selfish all year round?

SilkySuky · 04/08/2023 21:51

You get my first ever LTB

He's selfish, and doesn't even care that you know he's spent all this money in himself. Arsehole. King baby. Get rid

Mummumgem · 04/08/2023 21:56

When’s his birthday?, do what I did, tell him a few days before his birthday you want to buy something, £150 should do it, no he can’t know what your buying it’s a surprise. On his birthday he will have a lovely surprise of watching you have your present 😁.

Mellowautumnmists · 04/08/2023 21:59

I even sent him the child benefit money to his account a couple of days before (I am subtle I asked him to go shopping)

How much was that? Enough to buy things for his hobby?

Can you tell us more about your relationship generally? Is this a pattern of behaviour? Even a one off is unacceptable given what he has spent on himself, but it's worse still if he's regularly unpleasant and mean towards you.

What about your overall financial position? Who earns more, what sort of property do you have, whose name is it in etc?

AndyMcFlurry · 04/08/2023 22:02

Mellowautumnmists · 04/08/2023 21:59

I even sent him the child benefit money to his account a couple of days before (I am subtle I asked him to go shopping)

How much was that? Enough to buy things for his hobby?

Can you tell us more about your relationship generally? Is this a pattern of behaviour? Even a one off is unacceptable given what he has spent on himself, but it's worse still if he's regularly unpleasant and mean towards you.

What about your overall financial position? Who earns more, what sort of property do you have, whose name is it in etc?

Assuming she has two kids, child benefit will be about £160 .

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 04/08/2023 22:04

My exh also put his hobbies before anything else. He ruined my 40th.. He was an ex before I was 41..
There is life after a twat op.
And some great birthdays to be had!

Mellowautumnmists · 04/08/2023 22:08

Assuming she has two kids, child benefit will be about £160

Ahhh, @AndyMcFlurry, so he did spend it on his hobby!

Thank you - I'm out of touch with child benefit payments as mine are adults now!

AndyMcFlurry · 04/08/2023 22:14

@Mellowautumnmists you’re welcome. It’s £24 for the first child and just under £16 for the second. Paid every 4 weeks.

It’s pretty shitty of @Mamachef29 s partner to have spent the kids money on himself 😡

AmandaHoldensLips · 04/08/2023 22:17

So now you know what he thinks of you. Wow.

TomatoSandwiches · 04/08/2023 22:25

Sell his hobby shite and take yourself shopping.
Then make plans to leave.

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