DH online search history

[19Bears]

I know this subject has been done to death - finding out your husband has been searching dating apps / porn sites / hook up sites. The difference here is that DH's phone is linked to DS11's tablet, so all his google searches show up on our son's device. It has been fairly innocuous for a long time - ebay, Ticketmaster, Nigel bloody Farage, football news etc. Although also included in the list has been my twitter account, my name generally, and some young glamour model he follows on all SM. I couldn't give a monkeys. Anyway, I borrowed the tablet from my son last night and brought up the search history to find the pilates programme I'm following and saw things like 'flirt.it' and 'tiktok for singles' and interestingly 'local girls who want sex.' On one hand I was relieved that I've finally got a 'reason' to justify me wanting to call it a day on our marriage, on the other I feel sick as I need to confront him with it. In what way? Tell him in a matter of fact way that he needs to sort out his searches bearing in mind our son's tablet is linked to his phone? I know he'd be shocked and bewildered and in a blind panic as to what to do about it as he has no tech skills whatsoever. Do I take screenshots? Which way do I approach it without seeming to be using DS11's possible exposure to this as the bombshell. I don't want to use DS11 in any of this, but unfortunately he is involved and I don't know if he's seen any of this. It feels really messy.

Reading this my biggest concern would be your son being exposed to inappropriate material on his device due to your husband's thoughtless behaviour. Husband shouldn't be so reckless and the two of you as parents need to be in better control of the settings.

I think these do sound more like pop ups when he's browsing porn rather than him actively hooking up but I'd be berating him for selfishly potentially exposing your son to inappropriate content.

@Anotherlurkingmale Yes, this is the main concern. I'd be horrified to think my youngest son had seen anything. I put parental controls on his tablet when we got it, but didn't think that linking it to DH's phone would result in all of this. The activity is all on DH's phone, presumably he looks at whatever he's looking at when we've all gone to bed, but it shows up on the tablet if you look in the history. I haven't looked at his phone.

Obv you should have pin for that part of your sons tablet?

I'd have been off having found the searches for Nigel Farage...

Just get rid, you want an excuse so things are bad.

How's your search history? Could tell you if you like? Definitely not ok for using sons devices for whatever though 😕

Finally managed to get a look at the search history again. I've taken a photo of the tablet with my phone rather than a screen shot but I think you can see it well enough. Looks like these are definitely searches rather than pop-ups don't you think?...

They're definitely searches

Looks like searches to me. And Depeche Mode? Definitely not your son haha

Sad to read, you’re both checked out. It’s really just a matter of time I think, but understand the need to protect the children.

Just crudeness of the search term. It's pretty funny for a grown man.

Pretty gross he searched for girls, not women 🤮

Just get rid of him, it's not going to get better is it? Your son's MH may well improve if both his parents were happier apart.

Ooo, it's a new one - 'local shags.'
Christ alive.

Have you sorted the parental control settings yet OP? If you can see this stuff being searched on the tablet your son uses, I'm concerned that the controls must not be tight enough?