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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner maybe bi?

31 replies

Liamb123 · 28/04/2023 11:57

Hello everyone, hope you’re well :)
So I think this could just be me been absolutely ridiculous and over thinking just to say that first lol. I’ve always had vibes that my partner could be bi or maybe bi-curious just as she’s said a few things nothing major but she said she’s when she has watched porn its lesbian porn and made some other comments before.
Tuesday we was on a walk chatting and got talking and she told me about this weird women that ‘creeped’ her out at her old job as this women sent her inappropriate pics and came on to her over message and tried it on etc and she said she was freaked out and blocked her.
Since then it’s had me thinking all week that maybe there is more to that situation and maybe she actually did have a thing with this women so I asked her and she said absolutely not it made her creeped out and she’s absolutely not bi. Last night we was having flirty banter over text and I jokingly said winding her up that I’d go get the ‘creepy’ women round next time she’s over so she can get it on with her just winding her up and she replied “ Already been there Shame you weren't around to watch” so obviously I thought she was winding me up back so I went a long with it and asked what they got up to etc and she was winding me up saying “ use your imagination I’m not telling” so I kept going along and then she wrote me a few big in detail erotic paragraphs (you can get what I mean lol) on what they did and how it happened.
So I was very shocked and of course knew in back of my head she was obviously making it up and it was totally fictional to turn me on as she probably thought it was turning me on and some fantasy I had. But it actually did you opposite and made really start questioning everything. So I asked her after firstly if she’s not bi how can she write such a dirty paragraph about sex with another women, as if I did that about another man it would make me feel sick and if it really was true.
She told me absolutely not and she only said it cos I wouldn’t stop going on and it actually was making her sick saying it and wishes she didn’t.

So I’m slightly confused, was it just harmless fun and her trying to turn me on or could she possibly be bi and she’s just trying to cover it.

Thanks :)

OP posts:
Mycathatesmecuddling · 28/04/2023 23:38

I'm a woman who finds gay male sex scenes erotic so God knows what sexuality that makes me in @Julieee59s very firmly defined world

Mammalys · 29/04/2023 00:19

Why do you care if she feels attraction to women? She's choosing to be with you.

I was once with a bi man who had the view that it was okay for him to go and be with men, while we were in a relationship because 'it was different' to heterosexual couples. What I learnt from that... is that no matter your sexuality, if you choose to be in a relationship you are required to be faithful.
You can look at the menu as long as you eat at home kind of thing!!

So.... who cares??

Deadringer · 29/04/2023 00:34

She told you out straight (no pun intended) that she is not bi. Get on with your life for god's sake.

Julieee59 · 29/04/2023 00:43

@Mycathatesmecuddling well I can understand a straight woman watching gay male porn because your sexually attracted to men and two dicks are better than one, Lots of straight men find lesbian sex hot.

But if your a straight identifying man who gets off to gay porn and has sexual fantasies about men or your a straight Identifying woman who gets off to lesbian porn and has sexual fantasies about women then That just doesnt sound straight to me.

I've watched porn before and I find gay sex as well as male masturbation hot, I remember looking at lesbian porn and I just didnt feel turned on.

But if you want to identify as straight, gay, bi etc then thats up to you. Its just that there are women out there who are confused about thier sexuality but then would think to themselfs "Well if straight women watch lesbian porn and prefer looking at naked women then maybe Im straight also".

Although it sounds like OPs GF is just pretending to be bisexual so that it turns him on because many men find lesbian sex hot

nakeklak · 29/04/2023 10:55

@Julieee59 you only speak for yourself I'm afraid, so everything you've written is void. Straight women can enjoy lesbian porn. You're not one of those women, which is absolutely fine!

PaintedEgg · 29/04/2023 11:50

@Julieee59 are you the poster who has an incel son?

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