If you saw a neighbour having an affair?

[CheeseOnToastFan]

I have found out that one of our neighbours appears to be having an affair. He is married with a child. We don't really know one another although I know his and his wife's names. I don't know the woman I saw him with.
I don't know whether to post an anonymous note to his wife or not.
I also don't know if my own experience is affecting my judgement. Years ago, one of my neighbours tried telling me my own husband was having an affair. She didn't do it directly and I didn't cotton on so it was only later when I found out about his affair that I realised what she had been trying to tell me. I felt grateful she had tried to intervene.

Personally I'd stay out of it. It's nothing to do with you

I’d mind my own business.

How do you know the woman he was with was an affair partner?

Do you really want to embroil yourself in a such a tangled web when you don't even really know the people?
You say 'appears ' to be having. Imagine if you got it wrong and messed up someone's family?
Personally, I'd stay clear.

I saw them embrace and kiss.

Did you see them in the act? If not, an affair’s a big leap for someone you know nothing about.

Its not your concern.

What exactly have you ‘found out’? If you don’t even know him or his wife by name, surely it’s possible you’ve misread the situation? Either way, it strikes me as none of your business.

Just because you would have been grateful doesn’t mean this woman will be.
I understand why you want to tell her but you can’t

I embrace and kiss my brother, my male best friend and female friends. We are not having an affair.

What I saw was not an embrace and a kiss between siblings or friends.

It's Christmas and New Year - everyone kisses and embraces. Well, that's how it would appear to me 🙄

Keep your beak out.

You don't have any evidence or know the background of the situation. You may mean well but you could set off some very unpleasant consequences, on a conclusion you have reached based only on appearances and your own experience which may skew your judgement.
Leave it alone.

It'd be one thing if she was your friend but you don't know any of them nor anything about their relationship. I'd mind my own business and stay out of it.

Another vote for keep out of it. None of your business.

The only way you could think it is is a good idea is if you expect to be thanked nicely by the person being cheated on (if that was the case)

So in a way it is about your feelings not theirs

Sending anonymous notes is creepy.

I find it disturbing how many peoe say to mind your own business....almost like you all think it's ok to be having any affair.

Personally I would let her know

Don’t send anonymous notes or texts. It’s too easily explained away as a malicious acquaintance or crazy ex.

i would however just speak to her and ask if she is coping with the co-parenting and co-habiting situation ok. “Eh, Why do you say that?”- she asks. Because you saw Kevin with his new girlfriend

Come from a place of concern. Non confrontational. Offer the information that she asks for.

I would try to let her know, but how to actually do that is tricky! Anonymous notes can be dismissed by the DH quite easily, but not sure how else you could do it. At least it might sow the seed in her mind so she start her own investigation.

I don't think it's ok to have an affair but equally I don't think it's ok to send an anonymous note to a neighbour when you don't know all the facts.

If I had proof (I.e. photo/video evidence of the affair) I would share that with her. Otherwise you’re a stranger to her and she won’t believe your word over his. You’ve then let him know that he needs to be more discrete and probably made it harder for her to find out the truth.

I do not want to be thanked at all. Just that his wife seems a nice, quiet woman. A homely sort of person. I just think it's wrong that he's acting this way with another woman.

It is a tricky situation but you don't really know any of these people well enough to intervene. It's one thing if you find this out about a close friend or colleague but different if you hardly know them.

An annonymous note is a cowardly and shitty way to communicate anything, under any circumstances. Under these circumstances it's vicious and really nasty.