If you saw a neighbour having an affair?

[CheeseOnToastFan]

I have found out that one of our neighbours appears to be having an affair. He is married with a child. We don't really know one another although I know his and his wife's names. I don't know the woman I saw him with.
I don't know whether to post an anonymous note to his wife or not.
I also don't know if my own experience is affecting my judgement. Years ago, one of my neighbours tried telling me my own husband was having an affair. She didn't do it directly and I didn't cotton on so it was only later when I found out about his affair that I realised what she had been trying to tell me. I felt grateful she had tried to intervene.

user1471427614 · Today 09:44
I find it disturbing how many peoe say to mind your own business....almost like you all think it's ok to be having any affair.

Personally I would let her know“

I certainly don’t think affairs are ok. It would end my 34 year marriage.
Precisely why I wouldn’t interfere in the relationship of strangers when I didn’t know what I’d actually seen.

No I’d leave it; you don’t know what’s really going on

If you're absolutely sure, tell her.

It was a fluke I saw them anyway. In the circumstances I saw them, it would have been really easy to have taken a video. Not that it occurred to me at the time. I'm not comfortable with videoing people without their knowledge!

I suppose an anonymous note is creepy, yes. The woman who tried to help me spoke to my face. I think if she had sent me an anonymous note I would have been obsessing about who sent it.

It is wrong, but unless you have a friendship with this woman it’s none of your business.

^^This. Bring it up as 'I'm sorry that you split up'. Because you saw him with his girlfriend. And assumed the neighbours had split. Be very sorry for misunderstanding the situation. But they were in full view on the street.

So, yes, tell her directly. In a way that assumes she already knows. Which she might.

I'd leave it unless it was a friend. Can see why you feel uncomfortable about it though.

I would normally say to stay out of it, but given your own situation I think maybe you should ... it seems too much of a coincidence to me

They are not your friends. You owe nothing to either of them. Affairs happen. You observed it. You don't have to do anything. Their life will play out

OP does not even know this woman, yet is asking whether she should tell her that she suspects that the man is having an affair. Why can people not mind their own business in these cases? How does it affect the Op's life?

I wouldn't get involved. If it was a friend I would.
You don't know anything about either of them. They may be in an open relationship, already separated but having to stay in the same house for financial reasons.
I'd keep out of it.

You have no idea if they have an open marriage. She may well know already.

If it was a friend, I'd tell them.

But they might have an open relationship etc, you just don't know enough about the situation really..

I feel uncomfortable thinking about his wife being at home with their child while he's out with another woman acting a bit like a single man, I suppose.

How well do you know them.
someone Once wrote to one of my colleagues telling her her husband was cheating on her.
she sent a photo of him kissing the “other woman” through the kitchen window.

the other woman was my colleague, who had just had a 10 hour hair appointment going blonde after years as a brunette

Can you explain what you mean by coincidence?

It was certainly a complete fluke that I saw them.

Definitely mind your own business

one of our neighbours appears to be having an affair

Do you know or suspect? Unless it was a good friend, and you were 100% certain, then stay out of it. It's not your business.

I think this could come across nosy and disingenuous. If you’re going to do it, I think just saying it is the better option.

OP I am from the US so not the same culture but I’d play this very close to the chest. People here are wild upon hearing such news. The wife needs to know though. Not sure if there is a way friends could let her know.

she will feel run over, then embarrassed…. She might try to save face by holding tighter to the cheater.

I would want to know but I can say my reaction would be from a place of emotions…

I would absolutely tell.

Better to tell her and be wrong about it than not tell her and be right.

I know them well enough to know that the woman I saw him kissing was not his wife. His wife is a waif-like blonde and the woman he was with was a tall brunette with a gym body about 15 years younger!

>Klaxon<

Curtain twitcher alert!!

I didn't see them near where we live.

A neighbours husband played away with a carer at the home my grandparent was in. She was loud and vocal about him being her boyfriend (she knew we were neighbours as she'd seen my address when she had to ring me during the night shift).

She had absolutely no shame about it. I went and spoke to a neighbour who said neighbour is close to and explained the situation and asked for her advice. They disclosed that the neighbour knew and couldn't care less as it got him away from her as it wasn't a happy marriage. Apparently it also wasn't the first time and hasn't been since.

Do you know anyone in the street she is close to? Failing that if you're not to be gentle and discreet but to her face, keep it to yourself.