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Original poster

Bumble

219 replies

Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:12

Hi,

so I met my partner on Bumble and we both were talking to other people for a few weeks before we came off, at which point it said our home town as the last location. He's just gone away and because we are going through a bit of a rough patch, I checked and his location has changed to the place where he is currently staying. Does this mean he's been on the app? I'm rubbish with this stuff... how do the apps work regarding locations?

OP posts:
outlanderfan88 · 23/08/2022 00:22

'Coming of' a dating app means deleting your profile and deleting the app itself.

If the location has updated to where he currently is, it means he's back on it.. Probably (like all men) using the opportunity of being away to look for fun

sorrysaythatagain · 23/08/2022 00:26

Yes exactly what @outlanderfan88 said.

There is no way it would change location on its own. He most definitely has logged in.

Sorry OP

Ohahjustalittlebit · 23/08/2022 00:27

Or he could be on dadsnet saying you had a fight, he went away for work and wondered if you were back online so logged in to check.

Agree with the other poster, coming off it means deleting it full stop. Then there can be no issues.

outlanderfan88 · 23/08/2022 00:32

Is he staying alone in a hotel?

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:34

He is alone in a hotel for work abroad. I feel a bit sick, and quite stupid!

OP posts:
Paul85 · 23/08/2022 00:37

outlanderfan88 · 23/08/2022 00:22

'Coming of' a dating app means deleting your profile and deleting the app itself.

If the location has updated to where he currently is, it means he's back on it.. Probably (like all men) using the opportunity of being away to look for fun

So all men look for fun while working away ?What a load of crap.

FlyingSaucerss · 23/08/2022 00:37

Surely you deleted your profile after meeting someone and getting serious don’t know why so many people seem to still be on it, he’s definitely been on it if it’s updated otherwise it would update wherever he goes

outlanderfan88 · 23/08/2022 00:39

Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:34

He is alone in a hotel for work abroad. I feel a bit sick, and quite stupid!

Is he good looking?

I imagine yes, because only good looking men get any traction on dating apps .

stillvicarinatutu · 23/08/2022 00:40

Bumble seems to automatically know where you are , I think the app tracks your phone .

It does not necessarily mean he's been active on it .

But that said - if I've met anyone in it and it's lasted over a month I've suspended my profile . You can come off "date mode" in settings .

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:42

He does have a nice face, yes. The location hasn't changed in months despite him moving around a lot for work. Just tonight.

OP posts:
Carrieonmywaywardsun · 23/08/2022 00:43

If you were exclusive surely you'd both delete? Have you had that chat?

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:45

I hadn't deleted mine, just never bothered going back on it until tonight to check.. had a weird feeling as he has been so quiet on this trip. I trusted he had deleted his... yes, I know... possibly I should have checked that earlier. He was my first app fella, I was new to them. we've been together nearly a year...

OP posts:
FlyingSaucerss · 23/08/2022 02:02

Well if it hasn’t changed in months then you know the answer? You’ve been together a year and both haven’t deleted your profiles just didn’t log in? Hmm maybe that should have been sorted sooner!

minticecreamisjustok · 23/08/2022 09:08

You cannot assume either has come off the apps unless you have both discussed this, even then does that mean snoozing the account or deleting it entirely.

If he knows you haven't come if the app then you can't blame him for still being active and you are right not to trust he is exclusive with you.

stnoa · 23/08/2022 09:22

Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 00:45

I hadn't deleted mine, just never bothered going back on it until tonight to check.. had a weird feeling as he has been so quiet on this trip. I trusted he had deleted his... yes, I know... possibly I should have checked that earlier. He was my first app fella, I was new to them. we've been together nearly a year...

You say you never bothered going back on til last night to check but your other posts says he's moved around for a month and his location has never changed in that time. How would you know unless you were checking regularly?

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 09:36

When I say I haven't been "back on the app" I mean I haven't been on it swiping, just on our last conversation together which shows his location. He just asked to move in with me a few weeks ago, I presumed that meant "excessive" but now I am wondering if you are right minticecreamisjustok?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 09:37

"exclusive" not "excessive"

OP posts:
Nolosomi · 23/08/2022 10:01

I feel for you OP, he must have opened it to have a look. But maybe he was just reading the old messages between you two? I’ve done this but wasn’t swiping. Bumble isn’t really the app for quick hook ups, I’d probably look on Tinder and pay to change location to his…if he’s on there you’ll know he’s messing around. Horrible position to be in, but I’d rather know.

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 12:07

I have made up all sorts of stories about why he might have gone on the app in my head, but I guess the most obvious one is that he is looking around.
Is anyone familiar with the term "overlapper", when a person lines up a new partner before dumping the old one; he's done this before, let it slip in a chat once... I reckon I'm about to get the elbow...

OP posts:
Wildlingbobble · 23/08/2022 13:07

I have been on the apps for years on and off (perpetually single).
If his location is updating he’s been on the app, no two ways about it.

If I were you I’d be tempted to get in there first & give him the elbow! No man who’s fully invested is casually checking his dating apps - you deserve better!

lucielou82 · 23/08/2022 13:19

Not defending him! But some people delete the app (I did this once) thinking I'd deleted my account but my account was still active! How long have you been together?

Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 13:21

He said he had deleted it from his phone and hadn't paid his subscription so couldn't talk to anyone on it. We've been together nearly a year. I guess he could argue I was on it too as I saw him there, but I was just checking as had an odd feeling because he was much quieter than on his usual trips...

OP posts:
Original poster
Ellena646 · 23/08/2022 13:25

wildlingbobble: I hear that

OP posts:
LetItBeCake · 23/08/2022 14:24

Why not dump him first OP and move on yourself.

LondonCrone · 23/08/2022 14:43

You don’t need to pay for a subscription to talk to people on Bumble, even as a man — the woman just has to message you first. Whether he is or isn’t looking, this relationship seems waaaay too unstable to be thinking about moving in together.

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