Bumble

[Ellena646]

Hi,

so I met my partner on Bumble and we both were talking to other people for a few weeks before we came off, at which point it said our home town as the last location. He's just gone away and because we are going through a bit of a rough patch, I checked and his location has changed to the place where he is currently staying. Does this mean he's been on the app? I'm rubbish with this stuff... how do the apps work regarding locations?

He’s horrible. He likes to blame you for everything rather than take responsibility and apologise for his poor behaviour. He was on dating apps abroad while planning to move into your house. He wants to move in and contribute to your renovations so he has a claim on your property. As a pp said, he’s in his 50s with a good career, why does he not have any assets of his own?

He lovebombed you and now practices the silent treatment as a means of control. He’s not a good person. I grew up in a house with a father who’d use silent treatment, it was horrendous, it’s abusive and ridiculous at the same time. The only good thing about spending my childhood walking on eggshells is that I recognise it straight away in adult relationships and will absolutely not put up with it. All men who’ve tried this on me have been immediately dumped, even the Brad Pitt look alike. You sound lovely op, you deserve someone equally lovely who is mature enough to have a grown up relationship. Please don’t waste anymore time on this man.

Doesn't matter what's happening with him. He's treating you like you're a waste of space. You're not in love with him. You can't be in love with someone who has no redeeming features. You might think you've invested time so you don't want to waste that time, but don't waste any more. You want to keep him for pride reasons maybe, hoping he'll change and that will prove your worth?

Just throw him back.

Strange question @outlanderfan88 He's not going to be ugly for the OP, is he? Attractiveness is subjective for one thing.

so I tried video calling him he won't pick up. he's audio called back and said that his phone wifi is off so the video won't connect.. .surely then the Whats App wouldn't work.? Is he lying?

He's full of shit

Why would you trust him

He also sounds dumb as fck

WhatsApp can use your phone connection like a normal phone call. However, why is his phone not connected like it normally would be and does he not have 4G to access the internet on his phone?

I just sent his (after he complained that I had woken him up) I am so done.. thank you for pushing me to do this every one of you: Sorry about the language, I am so angry...

"Are you fucking kidding me?! First you tell me that my flirting is awkward and offputting, then you are spotted on an app, and then when you cancel our evening - when you are supposed to be cooking for me - I’m accused of being angry when actually I was just disappointed .. so I FaceTime you to reassure you and you won’t pick up. Sketchy. We’re done.

Fuck this and fuck you"

Make sure you block him on everything OP! Well done 👏

@Ellena646 wooooo!! Go OP! That's right. Stand up to the lying C U next Tuesday.
You will be ok 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

At last. Kick this negging, man child, dumb fuck ignoramus to the kerb. What an absolute mammoth prick.

Block him and delete the number if you want a total end to it

Well we have a ton of stuff at each other's houses so blocking can't happen yet need to organise that... his response "I am sorry you feel that way. best wishes." How cold is that? I feel devastated.

I am sorry that this is happening. That message is very cold.

He is an ass hole

Tell him to drop your stuff at the front of your house on a day you are there

Fck him

He's awful

That's very cold, I'm sorry. You are better off out of it.

It’s not cold, it’s exactly the type of response people are advised to give when they’ve been broken up with

@Ellena646
look up negging

thats what’s been going on to quietly destroy your self esteem and as a result to make you feel grateful that he is with you (because you start believing no one else would be)
There is someone out there who’d like you for YOU, with all your character traits, your looks would be their “type”, they would feel easy and at home with you…

Also @Ellena646 if you blame yourself for the mean way he treated you - it’s just a massive lack of boundaries and self esteem, ideally I’d look into some therapy or at least google or youtube with keywords like “if I did things differently he wouldn’t leave” or something applicable to your situation and watch any psychology or relationship coaching videos that come up, it might help.

The message you sent was great but I think the F U was unnecessary. But, you wanted it over and found the strength to do so.
The bottom line is either you trust him or you don't and you don't. Even if he was telling the truth as this stage I don't think you would believe him.
I'm sure you'll meet a better fit for you.

LOL he is 'sorry you feel that way'? Even with a break up he deflects 😂 thank god you're done now and didn't waste any more time OP

What a dismissive bastard. Well that hopefully makes moving on easier now the scales have fallen. Onwards and upwards OP!

It’s good this one has been weeded out before he got his feet properly under the table in your house.

All the best - you’ll meet someone who cares and respects you and with whom you can be a proper team, not some negging chancing leech who is prowling dating apps.

Stay strong and firm on your decision. X

It has been so hard. he is cold as ice and has refused to even take a phone call from me. My stuff was dumped that next morning in my car boot, every single thing from his flat... I expected at a least a phone call or in person talk but I am left feeling shocked and with very little closure at this point. It's triggered a real feeling of panic...

Why do you need him to take a call from you?! He is not a nice person OP. Ignore the feeling of panic he is not worth you feeling that way

Where is the love and respect for yourself to not be with a man that treats you this way?

Closure doesn’t exist. You dumped him. There’s nothing further to talk about. He’s done you a favour by not dragging things out, tbh. Now you can move on.

I think its because its very uncharacteristic for me to be that angry or swear at him and he had no curiosity at all about where that came from... just shut down immediately and dumped me out of his life. I know I ended it, but I am feeling really shocked by how little he cares about that.