Bumble

[Ellena646]

Hi,

so I met my partner on Bumble and we both were talking to other people for a few weeks before we came off, at which point it said our home town as the last location. He's just gone away and because we are going through a bit of a rough patch, I checked and his location has changed to the place where he is currently staying. Does this mean he's been on the app? I'm rubbish with this stuff... how do the apps work regarding locations?

Never give a man an opportunity to lie to you. You had an agreement that apps were deleted, seems you have both reneged on that, so the relationship is over. There is no trust and he most likely looking to cheat. If you ask him, he will lie and cover his tracks better next time. Why put yourself through the angst?

Doesn’t sound like there is much trust either way if you know his location has not changed in months despite him moving you must be logging in regularly to check his location, but earlier you said you had both come off the apps….

How do you know he’s not just doing what you’re doing?

Although, even if that is the case, I’d say this isn’t a particularly healthy place to be for either of you. Sorry, OP.

Have you asked him op?

He's either lying or checking up on you, probably the former. He's already lied about needing a subscription to message people. He's now re downloaded the app and signed in just to check on you? Really?

He phoned yesterday and is all "I love you" and chatting about living together... what the hell is wrong with him?!!

What is wrong with you? Did you ask him what he had been doing on bumble?

I am going to wait for a face to face... also I want to see if when he moves location today/tonight he's on it again, e.g. was it a one-off or is he out there looking again... or am I being naive?

You are grasping at straws. Why not have a straightforward conversation with him and ask him what you asked us? if you are going to move in together you need some level of trust and honesty?

What more proof will tonight bring? You are both back on the apps. His words do not match his actions.

You are right, but I was only back on it to check on him, so he's going to lie isn't he, unless he's a complete idiot, he's going to say he was checking on me.... how do I know for sure what he was doing on it? If I didn't love him it would be easy.

Why does he want to move in with you?
Whats his current situation?
What was your answer when he asked?

He rents, I've bought a place I'm doing up... I avoided an answer on the phone and moved the chat on to his work...

I think you should consider why he has asked to move in with you?
Potential cocklodger in waiting?

Does he struggle for money or does he manage ok?

He has a good job but no equity, not that it bothers me how much money he has, but it kind of is unsettling me now that I know he might be wanting to shack up AND Is potentially looking around for other women...

So here's a question that I can't answer in my own head, if I say to him "why are you on the app?" and he answers with "Why were you on it?" where do you go from there?

I just don't understand how you're a year down the line and haven't had the dating app chat?

He wants to move in and you've been checking up on his dating profile for a year but it sounds like you can't communicate with each other....

How old are you both?

Say someone else saw him on it and told you they were surprised to see him on it! and if he wasn't active it wouldn't have bought up his profile.
The more active you are the more your profile should come up. I'd have thought after a year together his profile wouldn't rotate around that much.

we have had the dating app convo... we both agreed not to "go on it" any more but I was new to apps and thought that mean just don't bother swiping or chatting. Now from talking to a friend and you guys I can see that I am an idiot! He's probably been talking to women the whole time or if he wasn't he is now...

What more proof do you need? You had suspicions he was cheating so checked the app and found that he was using it. You are stressed, don't trust him and have already caught him in one easy lie (paying for messages). You know he will lie if you ask him. Just end it before you get more entangled.

Found on Google.

No it doesn't automatically track your phone'! It will only update your location when you open it! It's not fucking magical! The help section explains exactly how it works/tracks if you bother to look...you need to actually log on! 🤦‍♀️

Hi x
Don't make any hasty decisions yet.
Like you say, wait until he's home then have the chat.
He may have been bored and opened the app to re-read your first conversations, he may have opened it to see if you were on it whilst he was away, he may have been on it for a look to see if he had any messages recently, for an ego boost, not to necessarily follow it up.
He deserves a chance to explain himself.
Stay strong and wait until he gets home.
Sending love ❤️

Also he asked to move into your place? Just like invited himself? FFS. Make sure you have a watertight legal agreement so this bloke can't claim a share of your property.

But I think that's the point!

Maybe he was checking on you, you were checking on him. Sounds like an awful start, no trust either way.

All of these comments are true and valid... I am so confused. I do have trust issues but that's because my ex husband was such a dick. And having a share of my house, is that a thing?