Masturbating video on partners phone

totallyoutnumbered · 25/04/2022 11:35

Well that would certainly be my first thought. I had a brief relationship with a creep who filmed himself and sent them to me once. I told him in no uncertain terms I didn't want the video. His reel was full of them. Turned out he was seeing several women behind my back who all got sent the same clips 🤮

Mls1984btc · 25/04/2022 11:37

I can never understand who do some men feel the need to share this private moment?

Pinkbonbon · 25/04/2022 11:39

Either that or he is a self obsessed pervert.

Shgytfgtf111 · 25/04/2022 11:47

Why would blokes assume someone would want to see that?

ladydimitrescu · 25/04/2022 11:48

Does he have form for cheating?
I don't think anyone can say, obviously he could be sending to someone, however, I have known men (and women!) who have enjoyed watching themselves as a turn on.

Swayingpalmtrees · 25/04/2022 12:06

Regardless of the reason finding that on my dh's phone would kill our marriage stone dead. I just could not remain married to a pervert. Whether he sends the footage to others or keeps it for his own sick pleasure, it would be the end for me. Can you imagine one of the children finding it or his mother?!

It would be game over for us.

Swayingpalmtrees · 25/04/2022 12:07

I would also add that it would give me the serious ick.
There would no coming back from the loss of trust and simply not knowing who is anymore..

KangarooKenny · 25/04/2022 12:09

Ew. How unattractive.

seensome · 25/04/2022 12:09

He's done that for someone, tell her to look through his WhatsApp contacts.

EatSleepReplete · 25/04/2022 12:11

Yuck. Even if he's not cheating... I'd be dry as the Sahara after discovering that. Does he think he's some kind of Z list porn star?

girlmom21 · 25/04/2022 12:12

Of course he's cheating. He's sharing explicit videos with someone.

NoThanksThough · 25/04/2022 12:20

Could be cheating.
Could be to upload to adult vide sites.
Could be to share with men and women on adult chat sites. He could cover his face easily enough with editing app.
Could be for something like only fans.
Could be to send unsolicited to other women and/or men.
Or it could just be because he's turned on watching himself him wank off and it's for his own eyes only .

I can totally see why she'd think cheating or something and I'm not saying it's not an issue but if he's given her his phones unlock code, is leaving his phone unattended around her and doesn't mind his phone being accessed by her then it's different to the usual cheating behaviour of changing passcodes and being protective of the phone would make me think it's for his own pleasure.

I'm basing that on your OP though because from what you've described it doesn't sound like she's waited until he's not around to deliberately look for something due to already being suspicious.

NoThanksThough · 25/04/2022 12:25

To be clear, I'd have the massive ick too but assuming she has really casually been looking for a holiday photo and they're ok with each other accessing each other's phones then it kind of feels if he was cheating, he'd be more protective of his phone and take steps to stop her accessing it by hiding stuff in a different folder, changing unlock code, not leaving his phone unattended.

I'm not for one second saying she has to be ok with it.

daisyjgrey · 25/04/2022 12:40

Swayingpalmtrees · 25/04/2022 12:06

Regardless of the reason finding that on my dh's phone would kill our marriage stone dead. I just could not remain married to a pervert. Whether he sends the footage to others or keeps it for his own sick pleasure, it would be the end for me. Can you imagine one of the children finding it or his mother?!

It would be game over for us.

I feel like "pervert" and "sick pleasure" is probably a bit hard nosed for having a video of himself having a wank.

Your boundaries are your boundaries but there needs to be some kind of rational thinking at some point.

TheVanguardSix · 25/04/2022 12:45

Could there be any other reason he'd make something like this?

Well, ANY reason is a shitty one.
Really, who wants to be with that guy?

totallyoutnumbered · 25/04/2022 13:03

NoThanksThough · 25/04/2022 12:20

Could be cheating.
Could be to upload to adult vide sites.
Could be to share with men and women on adult chat sites. He could cover his face easily enough with editing app.
Could be for something like only fans.
Could be to send unsolicited to other women and/or men.
Or it could just be because he's turned on watching himself him wank off and it's for his own eyes only .

I can totally see why she'd think cheating or something and I'm not saying it's not an issue but if he's given her his phones unlock code, is leaving his phone unattended around her and doesn't mind his phone being accessed by her then it's different to the usual cheating behaviour of changing passcodes and being protective of the phone would make me think it's for his own pleasure.

I'm basing that on your OP though because from what you've described it doesn't sound like she's waited until he's not around to deliberately look for something due to already being suspicious.

I'd totally agree with you normally but on the 2 occasions I've been cheated on ( that I know of anyway) in both cases those men were super keen for me to know their passwords for their phones. I only ever "snooped" once and found all I needed to see. Both were predictably devastated that I don't give second chances. Some people are just so brazen sadly

totallyoutnumbered · 25/04/2022 13:03

NoThanksThough · 25/04/2022 12:20

Could be cheating.
Could be to upload to adult vide sites.
Could be to share with men and women on adult chat sites. He could cover his face easily enough with editing app.
Could be for something like only fans.
Could be to send unsolicited to other women and/or men.
Or it could just be because he's turned on watching himself him wank off and it's for his own eyes only .

I can totally see why she'd think cheating or something and I'm not saying it's not an issue but if he's given her his phones unlock code, is leaving his phone unattended around her and doesn't mind his phone being accessed by her then it's different to the usual cheating behaviour of changing passcodes and being protective of the phone would make me think it's for his own pleasure.

I'm basing that on your OP though because from what you've described it doesn't sound like she's waited until he's not around to deliberately look for something due to already being suspicious.

I'd totally agree with you normally but on the 2 occasions I've been cheated on ( that I know of anyway) in both cases those men were super keen for me to know their passwords for their phones. I only ever "snooped" once and found all I needed to see. Both were predictably devastated that I don't give second chances. Some people are just so brazen sadly

Swayingpalmtrees · 25/04/2022 13:11

I feel like "pervert" and "sick pleasure" is probably a bit hard nosed for having a video of himself having a wank

The rational thinking is that it would kill my attraction to him instantly. I would never be able to look at him in the same way, and not see a twelve year old boy. I like men, men that have principles, that are decent and do not sit there like a teenage boy videoing themselves masturbating.
There is not a chance someone like that would stay in my life.
It is completely rational to find it extremely unattractive and nauseating, and yes there is something perverted about fully fledged adult men filming themselves, and a passion killer for most women.

People can do whatever the hell they like, but we don't have to be okay with it. Tell your friend to find a real man op, a man child with a fetish for sending out videos of his bits wobbling or getting weird kicks looking at himself, I am sure she can do a hell of a lot better.

cockapoopoo · 25/04/2022 13:59

Ew?! How is that attractive for the affair? Is this not his attempt at porn? Does he have Only Fans? Is he trying to make money or is it for the gay porn community?

Fightingbackwithhappiness · 25/04/2022 14:15

Why oh why do men think women want to see this 🙄

Kitten2 · 25/04/2022 14:52

Yes. Cheating. At least virtually.
I had a LDR once with a man who turned out to be married!
He did this and sent me this sort of thing occasionally while we were 'dating'.

It's common in sex chat. Can't see any other reason for it.

Tell her to check on his iCloud under purchases. To see what apps he has downloaded (that may now have been deleted from home screen). Or check his battery, where does he spend his time when he's using the phone.

Culoser · 16/10/2024 16:42

Yes! Definitely cheating for me! He let me check his phone said he had nothing to hide! Well; I found what he was hiding! Several videos of his dick and beating off! It was disgusting! He tried to say that he was making them for me but couldn't figure out how to send them! Why would he do that when he could have been in my bed with me? Stupid excuse not to mention that they were time stamped and I also saw his local hookups and all the other chats and bullshit he was trying to bury in his phone! Well I guys hes feeling more integrated into with the community now and all of the studs it has to offer! What a disgusting pig! I told him to go get hustled and don't come back! He is even more ugly too me now! I gave him a shot by I thought he was a dork but the truth came out! It's a messed up one for me but it's going to be worst for him and that's where I find my peace! Lol