Is this out of order?

[slipperylittlesukker]

I was mid convo with someone yesterday and they just disappeared, which isn't unusual ... When they finally came back they said they'd been on the phone (2 hours and for someone who hates the phone seemed a little weird).

((Let me just say briefly - 99% of my friendships if someone had been gone for a length of time mid convo, they would have naturally said (as would I) 'oh, just been chatting to my son/friend/mum/daughter'.))

Anyway, will we call them Miss Shifty, they just said 'been on the phone' to which I didn't even think and said 'oh to who?' Not dreaming that this would be a problem.... Then they replied xxxxx.

There's a problem with the name they said. Firstly it was really late and only a few days previous they'd said this person likes to go to bed early, also, if it was said person they were speaking to, why not just say .. no big deal.

It's the whole shifty/sneaky behaviour that I think is weird... This person is a compulsive liar and in the time I've known them have lied about stuff constantly ...

I don't get why not just be honest at the beginning .... This person also loves to gaslight ... and then blame me for the reaction they've caused!

Anyway - because I asked the horrific question of 'to who' and then questioned they're authenticity (obviously due to the lying I've experienced in the past)... I was blocked....

Some people are just oddballs... in all my friendships I don't feel the need to be dishonest, gaslight or hide shit ..... It might not be 'any of their business' which is what was said to me - but it's just respectful ...

Anyway .. that's all.

Eh?

So you were talking to someone who just walked off and disappeared for a couple of hours, came back and said that they had been on the phone but not who to? Then you didn't believe them because apparently the person they were supposedly speaking to likes to go to bed early but it was late?

You both sound a bit odd to me...

They abandon you mid conversation, lie, gaslight then block. I hope you're breathing a huge sigh of relief to be out of that childish melodrama. Sounds like you've dodged a bullet. Enjoy your newfound freedom and don't give this one a second thought - you've learned what behaviour you don't find acceptable from others so you're now in a better place to spot it sooner and remove yourself from the situation if it occurs again in the future.

@IsDaveThere

You missed the part where I said they're a compulsive liar ........

You’re talking to someone who you know is a liar and a gaslighter and then seem surprised when they behave like this. Why?!

Were you talking in person or texting / online?

If it was online and they disappeared that makes more sense

By blocking you they have done you a massive favour, you need to lose this person, whoever it is, from your life.

I would be pissed off if I stopped messaging (it sounds like you were) to answer the phone, came back to the conversation and apologised for being on the phone and was then questioned about who I was talking to, and then called a liar when I gave an answer.

That said, I wouldn't be messaging someone who I would describe as shifty and sneaky and a compulsive liar anyway.

I would also block them and stay away..

I think you both sound like oddballs to be honest.

You sound ridiculous

Does it even matter?

You sound like very hard work.

Still don't know who Miss Shifty is.

Nothing odd about your friends behaviour. Yours on the other hand is a little batshit.

Is this a partner or friend and why does it bother you so much? If someone questioned me on who i'd been talking to i'd probably block them aswell! I have a life and other friends/family who may need to speak to me, why would I need to divulge the details to anyone else? It's not being sneaky it's respecting people's privacy by not telling anyone else their business surely.
Or, if you know for a fact this person is a liar see them blocking you as a blessing in disguise.

Some people are just oddballs

Indeed.

Huh?

What they did was perfectly normal!

I don't speak on the phone generally but have one friend I can talk to for hours. I tell everyone I don't talk on the phone but then talk to this person for hours.

I messaged my boyfriend a couple of nights ago to say goodnight amd then this friend phoned me and I was on the phone for an hour before I actually went to sleep.

Is this someone you are in a relationship with or chatting to online? Because it sounds like the latter. In which case, they can do what the fuck they like!

Honestly I read stuff like this and see why my friends have such trouble online dating - some people are very strange...

First world problems

like maybe I’m missing something but you demanded to know who someone was speaking g to and then essentially made them out to be a liar because you didn’t believe them?
You sound kinda controlling and demanding to be honest

Why are you talking to a compulsive liar? And why are you so bothered that they may or may not be lying?

So they disappeared from text convo for two hours now your accusing them of being shifty?

Maybe they just have a life? Your behaviour is bizarre I can go a day or two before replying back to texts, just means I'm busy! Your friend doesn't owe you her time.

Wtf...

Are we talking about a friend or a partner here?
Either way you're acting a bit controlling. They don't need to tell you who they're talking to all the time.

No wonder they lie.

You sound like really hard work.

But if you think this person is a compulsive liar why were you even talking to them anyway?

You sound insane.

I think that's normal in texts?