got to go see my mum today for her xmas party, and I DON'T WANT TO GO................................................................
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sorry, will explain.
she is schizophrenic, and is very very hard to handle (well, for me at least as I am terrified of her), and to add to the trauma my aunt is taking me who is more terrifying and I have nowhere to run or hide as I am not in any control.
still unable to drive because of my car accident, so can't get away on that score, and neither can I walk a long way so can't walk out either.
can't arrange to go later in the week either as then would be with mr psycho and the psychobabies and the psychobabies cannot keep their mouths shut and so will tell her ALL about the crash and what happened and everything, leading to melt down for my mum as she absolutely cannot know about anyhting bad happening to us as she then freaks........MEANING........no sympathy from DH as he normally bolsters me, and also when I go with him and the kiddies then we can beat a hasty retreat when things get too much (normally after half hour)
aunty is no help what-so-ever as she is mums older sister so is not scared of her, but she has NO compassion and thinks that I am just being stuppid (her words). but this is the woman who forced me to go as a child when my mum had spent the previous visit physically attacking me (to be fair, I now know she didn't realise it was me IYKWIM), and I was soobing the entire journey up and aunty verbally attacking for not understanding. I was 11 FFS.......a child!
sooo.........understand my fear and help me.....I normally have to drink to go vist and obviously can't at the moment, and need mind thinking happy thoughts.