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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Men & Panties

40 replies

bertybus · 03/12/2007 20:54

if you found out your DH wore womans underwear to masturbate in his early 20's (while you were married)would you be bothered?

OP posts:

StressTeddy · 03/12/2007 21:37

And is that why you think the marriage is over? Because you are enbarrassed?
Darling, please don't throw away a marriage because of embarrassment. I think you should talk to your dh and sort it out
I can assure you, IMO, in the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal
If you don't want it to, this won't affect things between you

themulledsnowmanneredjanitor · 03/12/2007 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

bertybus · 03/12/2007 21:41

I am not a troll.
In my mind this is a serious issue that is ruining my relationship.
I come here often, but do not post often, but I have changed my name for this post anyway.

OP posts:

nametaken · 03/12/2007 21:42

I really think it does depend on whose underwear it was. If it was yours then so what - but i know someone whose hubby used to wear stepdaughters underwear and do this - not nice at all. But obviously not the case here.

Don't be embarresed you told. Try to say something funny like "he doesn't really wear womens panties, he's just a sheep-shagger".

warthog · 04/12/2007 08:10

what ever happened to tolerance? he didn't betray your trust fgs.

Elf · 04/12/2007 08:38

I'm sure a lot more men wear their wives' knickers than most people suspect.

Why, didn't Victoria Beckham say that David wore hers. I'm sure he did.

If my dh wore mine I wouldn't want to know about it. I would put it at the back of my mind like the thought of him wiping his bum But I wouldn't end the marriage!!

MsPontipine · 07/12/2007 22:47

Did you ever see that kind of "before they were famous" type clip of George Clooney in drag in a long blond wig and leather skirt WOAHHHHH!! Sometimes a man in ladies clothes just emphasises their masculinity !!

One chap I knew once put my suspender belt on and it surprised me - he didn't look half bad!!

Original poster

bertybus · 08/12/2007 22:00

It was his underwear, stuff he had got himself from the shops.

A couple of pairs.

If it was someone elses DH I would prob be saying in the grand scale of things it didnt matter.....

but when its you and your problem it always seems worse!

OP posts:

DeePancrisPaneven · 08/12/2007 22:42

Curious thread. What "problems" are you experiencing??
It's a real shame he didn't have the confidence to tell you at the time. Was this a well-founded doubt in hindsight??

EricScrooge · 08/12/2007 22:45

I'm sure a lot of people do it in secret i guess.

But it is still too weird for me.

if he doesn't do it now it shouldn't be a problem though.

sweetkitty · 08/12/2007 22:47

Wouldn't bother me at all, men (and women) like to experiment especially when younger.

soanxious · 10/12/2007 15:40

Wouldn't bother me at all either, might laugh about it a bit and take the mick though

As long as everything else is okay then what's the problem?

TiggyD · 11/12/2007 23:36

One step down from a transvestite is a HPW. It stands for Hairy Pantie Wearer.

I'm sure he was thinking of you at the time.

madrose · 11/12/2007 23:52

I think what your DH did was quite normalish, he had a wank wearing women's underwear - so what, does it really matter. Did he do in public, did he hurt/upset anyone. nah - he had a wank and that's something men are good at,
What is worrying is that your DH confided in you and you have betrayed that confidence. If he were mine I would just take the piss - but it would be something I would keep between the two of us.

lemonstarchristmastree · 11/12/2007 23:59

grow up !!

fgs he liked to wear panties...so what

he not shagged another womam, beaten you or your children, lied, cheated ,stolen or humiliated you... ( You have done that by not keeping your private business private)

If this is the worst thing you have dealt with in 17 years then you are pretty f**king lucky and should be grateful not bloody bleating about ending your marriage

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