Ghosted by 2 friends in the past year and a half

[littleloopylou]

Just that really. It makes me wonder what it is about me that people don't like, and really feeds into my insecurities.

I'm probably self centred, but I'm not mean spirited and the friends have ghosted me when I've tried to check in on them when I know they have been going through stressful situations.

Not even sure what I'm looking for. Collective wisdom, I suppose.

Why do you say you're self centred?

I've had a lot of personal problems over the past couple of years.

I'm anxious and introspective.

I think this manifests as self centredness. It's worse when I'm stressed.

That could be your answer, people can cope with your introspectiveness in 'normal' times but not when they've got their own shit going on during lockdown maybe.

It's a hard time for everyone. Everyone I know seems to have stopped texting/calling..is it worth waiting until this is all over and trying again? I guess it depends on your friendship with them.

I have a considered this. I basically messaged each of them to say that I'm here if they ever want to talk. Not sure what else to do, but I've basically written them off for the time being.

I think that's all you can do, as much as it hurts you have done all you can for now.

Sorry you have gone through this. I have recently parted ways with a long term friend because like you describe she had become very self centred. For a long time, I felt sorry for her and made excuses but with long down and my own issues, I couldnt keep enabling her.

It may not be you at all. Just to put another perspective on it... I’m really struggling with depression and have pretty much cut myself off from friends and extended family. It’s not in any way a reflection of them. They’re lovely people. I know it’s selfish and probably causing them a lot of hurt and confusion. I just can’t seem to drag myself out of my miserable head or find the mental energy to chat to them.

It’s winter, lockdown and a lot of people are struggling to maintain social ties. The efforts at keeping in touch via zoom, text etc from the first lockdown are exhausted.