Hi, we've been married for 23 years, two kids in their late teens.
Dh has been having issues for about two years now.
At the start it was ok, we brushed it off as it being too early in the morning, too late at night, too much to drink, the kids were still up and about... You get the idea.
I was always as understanding as I could and we cuddled etc and tried again another time.
But recently it's happening more and more.
Again he says it's his age, we're not as young as we used to be (he's 45, I'm 40) but I'd like to think our sex life wasn't over!!
We've talked it over, he says he doesn't really want to go to the doctor, he says I always reach climax, he says he needs to lose weight and drink less (which he does but never makes any effort to do) and then I feel like he doesn't want to make those small changes so it makes me angry.
He does work out though, he just also eats too much.
When we try to have sex he sometimes rushes it before it "goes away" which means I'm not always ready and it's like being with a teenager again.
Yes, I do feel it reflects on me too, I worry if he fancies me, (though he does tell me I'm beautiful, sexy etc, he holds my hand and puts his arm around me when we sit together, he hugs, kisses etc after work)
We've had a chat about porn use (he used to when younger but says it's not a thing these days and I believe him) and about affairs (he just rolls his eyes, he's always at work or at home, he works with all men and gets a lift to and from work) plus I trust him and I don't think there's anything like that going on.
It's more frustrating - for both of us, I have researched online and the last few times he's initiated, I've told him to relax, let's just play about, not have full sex but some fun and it was ok a few times but I also want proper sex again at some point??
I don't know what advice I want really, I just needed to write this down somewhere. He won't go to the doctor either and with the pandemic they're just seeing emergency cases anyway ...