Single but not looking? Share the highs & lows

[wherearthough]

This thread is for those who have decided, for whatever reason, to no longer pursue romantic relationships with men.

It's not the female equivalent of MGTOW ( many of us will be raising sons and have great relationships with male family members and friends) so the purpose is not to moan about male shortcomings, but rather to celebrate the rewards of no longer pursuing and maintaining relationships.

My story? I finished with my ex last year and it was only in the aftermath that I was able to see how much of myself I had suppressed.

Subsequently I have thrived and whilst I'm not ruling out dating again, it's not a priority (my standards are so high now he probably doesn't exist anyhow so if this resonates with you, jump right in and share the highs and lows of being single... but not seeking.

My single life high today was having a lamb shank and roast parsnips for a late lunch. Didn't have to cook for anyone else. Didn't have to take anyone else's tastes into account. Just stuffed my face and was gloriously happy

Thanks for the welcome.
A heated throw! I never knew I needed one but I’m about to buy one. That is the kind of excitement I need in my life.
I bet your lunch was lovely @CleanQueen123

Hope it's okay if I pop in. I'm 31, unhappily (ish) married and reading for some inspiration. Love what you are all saying!

Good for you @CleanQueen123...I'm now vegetarian but before I switched, lamb was one of my favourites so I hope you enjoyed😊

You will find it hard to leave the bed @Jjjjjj1981, once the heated throw arrives, and welcome @annabellacomestotea ....sorry to hear that you're unhappy so feel free to vent, share or just take inspiration.

Thanks @Jjjjjj1981 and @wherearthough. I enjoyed it very much. DD isn't a fan of either lamb or parsnips so I don't get to eat them often.

Early night for me with a cup of tea and Death in Paradise on Netflix!

So the lows - Valentine's Day, I'm already sick of all the adverts and heart stuff.

What do you all have planned?

Deleted one of the dating apps. It's all the same people on there which I suppose with covid is understandable but it's so boring. I wouldn't mind just going on a few dates and having fun but even that's banned lol. I've met a few off OLD one wasnt for me and one I had sex with never to see again . Lots of them on there want an ego boost only.

@jigglypuffcookie I know what you mean. I see it as just another day. I've never been able to get on board with the "Valentine's day for one" concept.

That being said, I'm not bothered about it when I'm in a relationship either. The best you'll get from me is a card and a slightly nicer dinner

Valentines is just another day for me...I'm happy for those that are loved up and feel romantic at this time but glad I don't have to participate in the charade!

I have never been a valentines day fan either to be honest. I just see it as a money making scheme.

I used to hate the mass amounts of posts of what felt like competition on Facebook, over how spoilt people had been. So I guess another high point is that I'm not on there to see that anymore lol

Thinking of treating myself on Valentine's - I'll have the kids so could have a nice meal with them, ice cream and a movie. I've only been single for Valentine's once since I was 15 🙈🙈

@Botoxtime OLD can really knock your confidence. Lots on there just looking for an ego boost or one night stand.

Good morning ladies...I have an exciting day ahead clearing out the spare room but looking forward to spending time with the kids later and trying out a new Greek dish.

Hope you have a good weekend

Happy Saturday!
Re. Valentine's Day, I agree that it's just another day and even when married, it meant a card and a takeaway 😁 but this year I'm going to treat myself! I have a heart bathbomb, a new pink towel, new lovely polka dot pyjamas and bless them, my sons have made me a decorated box to put them all in as a gift to myself.
It'll be a day of relaxing, romantic comedies, wine and good food.

What a fabulous thread! Can I join you?

I was in a long term relationship for 15 years, and over a year ago we acknowledged that we'd been just friends for many years. We're still living together (very amicably,) and I go off in my van for increasing periods of time (apart from during lockdown - I can't wait to be able to get away for some time alone!). We'll keep this arrangement for the next couple of years until DD flies the nest, and then I'll move on/ away.

I had absolutely no plans for another relationship, and apart from a recent blip where I briefly considered the idea (that one's been firmly shelved under friendship), that's still where I'm at. Since I've been going away in my van, I've found I love the solitude and my own company, and really enjoy the freedom. It's been a revelation, tbh, and having lurked on the online dating threads, I have not one iota of interest in putting myself through that. If I happened to meet someone in my travels, I wouldn't be totally closed to the idea, but I'm certainly not looking for it. I'm looking to become better acquainted with my own needs and dreams, instead!

I think for Valentines Day I'm cooking myself a nice steak dinner, wine and yummy dessert for after. I've bought myself a book that I cannot wait to tuck into so theres that. Dancing around my flat too probably and reminding myself of the little things that I am grateful for.
Won't stay up too long

I have been single for about a year and a half. I've put dating on hold because of covid. I do miss companionship. The last few men I dated didn't want to commit so I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I don't miss that at all. Hopefully I'll meet someone eventually and get to know them slowly.

What sites did you use Sunday chats?

@piddocktrumperiness there's a good thread in Chat at the moment which is all about great sides for steak 😋 I think I'll treat myself too!

@Botoxtime I used match.com and POF. With POF you have to sift through a lot of crap messages but it's OK for a free site.

Hi all, lovely to read the thread and know i'm not alone. After dabbling in OLD for the last 10 years i've experienced nothing but disappointment and in some cases complete trauma. It's been a learning curve. Also horrified at the amount of men messaging me for affairs in my forties. None of this has inspired me to think about dating again. I genuinely can't see a good reason to date now. It seems that women do all the giving and make all the sacrifices and end up putting up with a lot of shit to get there. No thanks! I can think of a million reasons to stay single and not one to be in a relationship. I don't miss sex (most of it was crap anyway). I'm sick of hearing about penises all the time. It's so boring. I think i'm so much better off on my own. Can't say I don't feel sad about things from time to time but men in general just give me anxiety and i'd rather just stay single and be me. It's a much calmer secure place to be.

Welcome newbies and great to hear about all your solo valentine plans!

I've just bought myself a beautiful red lace bodysuit for the special day as why should sexy lingerie only be for the male gaze?

I plan on looking fabulous, listening to great music and having a really special meal ( yet to be decided upon)

Oh @wobblywinelover your post made me ...I too find d**k pics tedious and if I never see another it will be too soon!

I love focusing just on me and for however long you all remain single...enjoy yourselves and have a great week ahead

I don't get many comments about my choice to be single, because I think my friends and family understand. I am not an easy person to be around because of my personality, although I am sure they'll tell you I am great company, I have realised I am a bit of a loner and find being around people for extended periods of time difficult.

I spent my 20's/30's in various relationships trying to make them work and managed to get married but ultimately, after the honeymoon period wears off I seem to fall out of love pretty quickly

I concentrated on my career and travelled the world, went on amazing holidays and bought a beautiful house, all on my own. I still wanted to find the perfect relationship but I ended up with duds because I had a problem ignoring red flags. I tolerated a lot of nonsense because I still felt I should be in a long term relationship, fast forward to the last few years, coping with perimenopause and trying to sort my mental health out.

So a couple of years ago I had an epiphany and decided that being single was a much better option for me, no drama, no angst, no turmoil. I appreciate that a lot of people are emotionally equipped to cope with the rollercoaster of a long term relationship but I am not. My childhood was traumatic and I seem to have carried that over into my relationships.

But now I've accepted being single is better for me I genuinely couldn't be happier, I relish my options to do what I want, when I want, to make decisions without considering anyone, to spend a whole day binge-watching Netflix, or going on a long walk with a picnic and my dog, In fact, my dog is perfect partner, he is fun, loving and loyal!

I know that searching for a mate to procreate is perfectly normal. it's part of the evolution of life, but I think the idea we are meant to spend the rest of our life with one individual is a ridiculous concept and somewhat redundant now.

I probably sound bitter, and if I am honest a small part of me is, that I wasn't capable of conducting a normal, healthy relationship with other adults, that I much prefer my own company, as it has led to some difficult times but then the Pandemic has shown me I am very self-sufficient, fine being alone for days on end and quite resourceful.

Good morning all and welcome to valentines weekend ...hope you have a good one putting yourself at the centre of your love and devotion ♥️💙💜

Morning all.

DD and I are at my dad's this weekend (support bubble). We've got a lovely weekend of Disney films and eating planned. Pork is going in the oven to roast shortly!

I received an unwanted valentines gift from an ex this morning that was fun!

Other than that I'm getting right into my home exercise classes and I will be fit and healthy in 2021 and hopefully a home owner