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[pinkbubble]

I really need to let some steam off and have no one to call, I am sitting here alone, well DDs are in bed, DH is away.

I just need to talk to someone - I am not desperate or suicidal just need to rant about my day! Yes it has been one of those days!

PB...Rant away, i am in the same situation...

DH away, 2 dc in bed. Day from hell!

rant away. Here, have a glass of wine.....

ok off you go ...

Well, it all started this morning, me being very tired as I hadnt sleep that well.

Then it got a whole lot worse ---- My MOTHER turned up, she only came because I have my 2 nieces here for a few days. She spent 2 hrs here ranting and raving about how lovely nieces were, completely ignoring my 3DDs, this and that about nieces, as soon as I changed subject to my DDs, she cut me dead and carried on about nieces. Yes my nieces are lovely, and yes we do not see them that often as they live a good couple of hrs away (one of the reasons why I asked for them to come and stay)

Thought I would offer her lunch seeing that she was here and I had 6 children to feed! Did she offer to help - did she heck!!!! She took the offer of lunch, I made her a sandwich, and she could only eat half!!!! She told me she was stuffed - well I wish I could get stuffed on 2 slices of bread with a bit of salad in the middle!!!

I was going to take the youngest 4 to the cinema this afternoon, and asked if she would like to come- oh no thank you.

But then she does offer to do a little job for me, which would have meant me taking all DC to next town, but said I would have to give her petrol money as she is on the red ( fair enough I thought,) Good way to spend a fiver!! Well she phoned me up at 7pm tonight and she is totally pissed!!!!

So obviously the money she wanted for petrol was not really for petrol but for drink! I am so mad, she has always had a drink problem but my brother really sorted her out, and things were starting to look up for her.

She has not visited my girls since the middle of September, and she only came then because brother phoned her up beecause it was DDs birthday!

And to really top it of, she went on and on about what she was going to buy nieces and Brother and his wife for Christmas. Then she showed me a page and pointed to a picture of these false finger nails for my DDs(a cost of £3) Please don't get me wrong I know things should not matter of cost, but the difference is huge, also she will buy my brother and wife a present but she wont buy me or my DH one!

I dont want my DDs having false finger nails!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

And then she got really stressy on the phone when she asked if she could come back tomorrow and see THE GIRLS (knowing full well its not mine) I explain (which she already knew) That nieces were going out for the day with their other Grandparents, and my DDs are going to football. Well she really went off on one about how good other GPs were and that everyone thought that she was a pensioned criple(trouble is that is exactly how she acts). I told her I did not have the time to talk as I was in the middle of bathing 4 Dc and they were desp for an early night! Plus I could not bear to hear her talking in her pissed way, its horrid, she could hardly get her words out! I am so mad!

Pink

I really feel for you. it is a real pain dealing with a parent with a lot of alcohol going on (even if you/they don't see them as alcoholics, if alcohol affects their relationships to this extent, it;s not good)

it is so demoralising and so hurtful as well as f*** annoying

I found Al-Anon pretty good in the short term for realising that this kind of behaviour is so not on and that we have a right to be angry and also that nasty things said/done don't reflect on the realities of us and our kids

MN is also pretty good. have just had an arse of a day (although not as bad as yours) and this internet thing is amazing

take care

Thanks T4T, I always feel C**P when mother has been here, thank goodness she does not come often. I think the thing that really gets to me most is that - she tends to ignore me and my family, (honestly, me and my poor DC have been through the mill these last few months), and she has not offered any help or anything.(and she lives literally 5 mins drive away from me) As soon as my nieces have chicken pox, she is in her car and drives over 2 hrs to help so my brother and his wife can go to work! I really think she does a lot of this on purpose, as my brother and I are quite close, and I adore his children (the nieces that I have down at the mo!) I think she is so jealous.

This could be helpful we all have less than empathetic mothers who are generally at the very least emotionally neglectful. Suggest you carry on ranting. I've just had a run in with mine (by post) and I've been rather emotional over it all. But that's what mothers are for

Well, I guessed correctly, she didnt come to see my DC after all. She asked if she could come round today, and I explained that nieces were out with other Grandparents and my youngest 2 had football this afternoon. And so she never turned up! I really feel like that my girls and I are not good enough for her!

Maybe she is jealous of my life!
maybe she doesnt like me! (not sure what I have done for that mind you!)

Think in the last few days I have decided I have no time for her and I really dont like her!

Is it ok not to like your Mother? I would be heart broken if my DDs didnt like me! (but then I have never ever been close to her - even when I started my periods, I couldnt tell her ( I used rolled up tissue until I could afford to buy sanitary ware!) You would have thought that she would have been worried that I was not having regular periods!

Hi Pinkbubble,
Poor you, sounds as though you need a break. Its very hard with mothers I think. Mine is almost 80, I do love her but she is never really happy with her lot, only seems to be if she has something to complain about. The only times I felt really close to her were when I was pregnant with Matthew and with my trio. She has never been a hands on Grandma, I sometimes envy others who get that support, but hey ho, thats life, and I do love her. Having my trio so late I dont know if Ill be here to see grand children, would love to think so, but feel cheated that Ill probably be too old to be of much help, if Matthew was here I could easily have been a grandma by now, life is often twisted and unfair. We have to play our cards with those we are dealt, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Dont let her get to you! Please say hello to me at Tides!

Hi Triplet, I was there last Thursday and looked out for you, but never saw you! Probably be there next Thursday though!

PS had a bit of a better day today!

Hi,
Typical.........we were stuck in traffic coming back from Lewisham hospital that Thurs so kids had to miss their lesson. I actualy took them yesterday, nightmare, pool full, 170 bathers ,had to wait 20 mins to get in! Back next week all being well. Glad you are feeling brighter!