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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Divorced and wanting posessions back from marital home

33 replies

mummytotwo1 · 19/08/2020 20:05

Hi people, I'm at a loss on this one.

I divorced my husband 2 years ago, and moved out of the marital home we both owned. I have a lot of stuff still there that i would really like back (birth certificate, degree certificates, personal posessions and sentimental family stuff)

Ex refuses to allow me to have it back. He works from home and never leaves for a long enough period for me to be able to get in and out. I technically am within my rights to go in and get it, but it would need to be done while he'snot there, and I'd need to arrange a locksmith to gain entry. It's all very much dependant on him being out of the property as he will absolutley refuse me entry. Courts have failed to help, and the police can't really do a great deal as it's a civil matter.

Any ideas on how i could go about this?

It's been preying on my mind for a while now.

OP posts:
nancybotwinbloom · 19/08/2020 20:06

Following with interest

june2007 · 19/08/2020 20:11

Do you have a friend who could get it for you art a mutually agreed time. Make a list of what you would like back. Or Ask him to take to mutual persons house for you to collect?

MoonahStone · 19/08/2020 20:14

What was agreed legally as part of your divorce in the court order?

LottieBubble · 19/08/2020 20:17

Send him a message and ask when you can fetch it, with a reasonable time frame for a reply. Can I fetch my stuff? Please let me know in the next week’ etc. If he says no or doesn’t reply, then call 101 and ask your police force for advice, some forces will meet you at your address whilst you fetch things to prevent a breach of the peace. As long as you still part own the property, you can force entry if needed ie with a locksmith without fear of prosecution. The second option would be to send the message adding that after X days if you cannot get your items back, you will need to report the items as stolen, then again call 101 to make the report.

NotaCoolMum · 19/08/2020 20:18

I’d ring the police

MoonahStone · 19/08/2020 20:20

Without an agreed list of his owns what I can't see how the police would agree be involved as surely it's your word against his. How frustrating for you OP.

mummytotwo1 · 19/08/2020 20:24

I have repeatedly asked to arrange a time to collect belongings, and each time he has refused. I also made an attempt last year with a locksmith and ex refused to let us in. Police were not present. Unfortunatley, if he doesn't want me to enter he is not obliged to let me in. The only way is if he not in the property. I can then enter legally, and safely.

OP posts:
MoonahStone · 19/08/2020 20:27

How can you enter legally if he isn't there OP is this still your property?

mummytotwo1 · 19/08/2020 20:29

yes, we both own the property

OP posts:
fiveguy · 19/08/2020 20:29

Who owns the property?

fiveguy · 19/08/2020 20:29

X post

mummytotwo1 · 19/08/2020 20:30

We both do.

OP posts:
IndieTara · 19/08/2020 20:31

Surely if you part own the property he cannot legally refuse you entry.

mummytotwo1 · 19/08/2020 20:38

As he lives there, entry can not be forced if he does not agree to me entering.

OP posts:
LottieBubble · 19/08/2020 20:44

You might find this link useful- www.familylaw.co.uk/news_and_comment/what-rights-do-you-have-to-the-family-home-when-you-separate

Obviously it says seperated rather than divorced, but I think it covers both.l- also, I’m assuming you’re uk based so apologies if not.

Vodkacranberryplease · 20/08/2020 02:03

Can you do something sneaky like get him out of the house under false pretences? Have someone ring pretending to need to meet him? I can't think of an exact scenario but could he be 'called in to a work meeting'?

What a prick. I hope he hasnt destroyed those documents. I should think it would be illegal to do so but still.

If he's home and he answers the door then you could get someone big wearing what looks like a uniform (not a police uniform!) to go with you, knock on the door and push it open to gain entry when he answers.

SueblueNZ · 20/08/2020 02:34

@Vodkacranberryplease

Can you do something sneaky like get him out of the house under false pretences? Have someone ring pretending to need to meet him? I can't think of an exact scenario but could he be 'called in to a work meeting'?

What a prick. I hope he hasnt destroyed those documents. I should think it would be illegal to do so but still.

If he's home and he answers the door then you could get someone big wearing what looks like a uniform (not a police uniform!) to go with you, knock on the door and push it open to gain entry when he answers.

Wearing a pretend uniform. Seriously?
BitOfFun · 20/08/2020 02:55

Ideally a French Maid?

Personcalledjoy · 20/08/2020 03:47

Could one of us arrange to go on a (fake) date with him for you? And ditch him as soon as you've got your stuff?

longtimecomin · 20/08/2020 03:57

You should get the police to help, he's intimidating you so there's a domestic violence element to it. The police are really helpful with dv, now more than ever.

NotaCoolMum · 20/08/2020 06:38

He’s also STEALING from you by not allowing you to collect your items.

FelicityPike · 20/08/2020 06:49

Wasn’t this agreed during your divorce?
Maybe send a solicitors letter?

BlueBirdGreenFence · 20/08/2020 07:22

Sorry but I'm not clear - do you both still legally own the house post divorce?

category12 · 20/08/2020 07:48

Oh just pay for copies of your birth certificate and degree awards, what is the point of all this? If he's that much of a tool, he's probably chucked it all already. You might as well write it all off and move on. Sad about the sentimental things, but it's probably worth the price to be shot of him.

How come you still own the house jointly if you're divorced? Aren't the final settlements complete?

madcatladyforever · 20/08/2020 07:55

I don't know why the police won't help.
I told them I was too scared of my first husband to go and get my things and they went with me.
If they still won't get a court order and go with a friend.
Your ex sounds like a prick.

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