What to write in an anniversary card when your marriage

[WashedUpDriedOut]

is going through a rough patch?

I can't think of what to write and I don't want to strike up a row by not sending a card or writing something negative.

Nor do I want to write anything slush because it's just not appropriate.

Any ideas?

Dear A

Happy Anniversary x

Love B

Ime
A
From
B

I was this soldier. A horrible marriage & I had many of those cards to write.

I usually did write something loving / affectionate because I was deluded & kept thinking something would change.

If it's a rough patch though, and you still love him, can you say that? Or something meaningful about the two of you & what you hope for the year ahead?

I think if there is absolutely nothing good to say then the marriage is dead.

If it’s not yet dead, there will be something positive to say. Even if you have to hark back to happier times/treasured memories.

Do you still want to be with him? Do you still love him or care about him?

If not, I would do as suggested above. Then I would take steps to end the marriage.

As suggested above = a simple card with to, and from.

Do you want things to improve? If you do, you could write something like I know we've had a difficult few months / year, here's hoping for a better year together from today.

If you aren't interested in making things better, the simple suggestions you've had above will tick the anniversary card box for you.

@WashedUpDriedOut
I'm sorry you are going through thisbut regarding the anniversary card, is he the only person likely to see it?
My relationship of 16 years is well & truly over, but in the early stages, in the 1st year we were together, I wrote my now former partner a 2 page letter, pouring my heart out, thinking he was the only one to see it. He showed it to his snake of a daughter who has never liked me, and when we moved house i accidentally found the card among a box of her stuff !! And she didn't live with us, so what the actual f, a cringe moment.
I would say keep it friendly but not personal, just in case he shows it to family or friends.

If you really do love OH still despite rough patch you can write " Happy anniversary, love you no matter what"

I wrote cards for years trying to look on the bright side of what was actually a very abusive relationship.

They were photocopied as "exhibits" in family court to "prove" that he wasn't abusive and that our marriage was wonderful until I irrationally left it.

I wouldn't go there again!

Oh my God @gottastopeatingchocolate that's terrifying to imagine. 😳

I've had this before too and echo pp's to say just to A love from B with no kisses. I've felt like putting 'best wishes' at times!
I saw the absolute best card but didn't have the balls to send it - it was a Valentine's card and it just said on the front "I tolerate you". Made me laugh.

What would you like to be able to write?

it was a Valentine's card and it just said on the front "I tolerate you".

That's brilliant 😂

I'm probably late to the party here, but I'd write - hope this is a great year for both of us.