My mother is driving me nuts over DS1 s residential trip.

[saltire]

He is going on a trip with the school. DH and I wnat him tog o, I was never allowed to when I was younger because my parents couldn't afford it, and also when my grandad offered to pay for it she said no in case something happened to me.

Anyway, I let slip that he was off on a residential the week after she goes back home from visiting.
She has been on the phone all day and coming out with these stupid statements

I haven't slept all night worrying about him on this trip
What if the teachers a pervert, you do hear of these things
Yes I know they are teachers and have CRB checks but people slip through the net
What do you mean other parents are going
hav ethey been CRB checked?
What if someone breaks in to the place at night and kidnaps him or murders him?
What he falls over and seriously injures himself
What sort of things are the doing?
What do you mean by rock climbing and assault courses? isn't that dangerous?

and on and on and on. She really is driving me feckin nuts. She is like this about everything. DS was away playing footie, and he told her they would be back about 5pm today, as they went after shcool. She called at 5.05, 5.10 and evey 10 minutes until 6 o clock. By 6pm ashe wa spanicking -I wasn't, and she had phoned my brother to check up for road accidents between fareham and Portsmouth! He told her not to be so stupid.

I need to get this off my cvhest, she really does do my heid in

oh that sounds really annoying!!!

not sure what you can do tbh but let her get on with it and you get on with your lives (and let him go!)

totally sympathise though - it would drive me insane

Just be glad you didn't pick up her nervous habits!

She sounds very annoying, but it must be even worse to be her ...

(And good god she must have been tiresome as a parent! My mum was a bit like this, but not quite so bad, and she really got on my nerves ...)

My dad is like this - tiring isn't it.

If I were you I just wouldn't answer the phone.

She still carries on like I am 6 though. If we are out somewhere and for example on of her old neighbours give me a couple of pound for the boys, before I even get the chance to say anything she hits me on the arm, "what do you say to Mrs X, I didn't bring you up with no manners". She rings constantly to see how my health is, and if I say oh I'm having a bad flare up today then she phones 10 times the following day to see if I'm any better. If I mnetion Ds1's behaviour then it's all my fault for being a childmidner and giving attention to toehr children, now that I'm not CM ing and thinking of going out to work well that's all wrong as well. She still demands a kiss and hug at bedtime and lots of I love yous, even from DH! I just find it all really suffocating.

Anyway back to DS1, I hope she doesn't say any of this to him when she is down because she will scare him

Niecie - so is my dad, but he has a much more vivid and varied imagination than Saltire's mum. Luckily, he lives abroad!

Seriously, Saltire, I would tell her how left out you felt as a child never allowed on school trips, and that you don't want your ds to resent you. Worked rather well for me.

hmm, deep breathes.
have a gin and tonic

Im allergic to Gin, makes me vomit. I shall have a glass of wine instead

sounds like she doesn't have much going on in her own life. Could you suggest clubs or something?

She won't go to clubs "becasue I don't see why I should". She has never worked for 36 years since I was born. This was understandable when I was a child as dad was very ill, he died when I was 16 though and she was 39. She could ahve gone out to work then, but wouldn't, saying she had a family to look after. Well I was 16, and had to give up any hope of going to college, DB1 was 15, and DB2 was 12, so not tiny children, no need for her to worry about childcare.

saltire Would deffo leave the phone off the hook!

Do you think she has got worse with age Saltire?

My Dad definitely has. I think it might be because he does less as he gets older and thinks about things too much. He seems to see danger at every turn. I don't know about you but I almost feel judged for not being as concerned as he is. Like I am somehow a bad parent for letting my boys out of my sight. Not sure what you can do - I know reasoning with him doesn't work.

If she doesnt go out much and is reading [insert daily paper's name] (and hope to god it's not the Daily Mail or she'll think we're all off the hell in a handcart), it would be easy for her to get a warped version of what life is like. For some papers and the TV as well, it's all hoodies with guns, perverts and murderers. Sounds like she's lost some perspective and it makes her feel better to 'mother' you even more as well.

My mum's a bit like this too; not so much when there is a trip afoot, but when she's staying with us and the dcs are around. for example we have a slide/platform/climbing rope combo. Every 5 seconds or so she'll say "Oh look ds3's on the slide, is he OK. You're watching him aren't you ?" Or, "Ds3 is going upstairs. Watch he doesn't fall..."

My ds1 is 14 and a careful user of public transport. "Oh you do tell him to take care don't you..."

No Mum I send him out flashing lots of cash and the latest bling phone, so he'll get mugged on the tube