Left me to watch a football game !

[Allbutone]

Hi everyone,

I have a 2 month old DD and a 2 year old DS who I've been looking after by myself, as Boyfriend and I have been separated since I got pregnant with DD.

Ex came back today to have a "chat" as he wants his family back. I feel that it was a little too late now as he wasn't around during the pregnancy.
Long story short I've told him that if he really wants his family back he'll need to give me some time to think about it but in the mean time become a little more hands on with the kids.
Anyway, It was around DS bed time and I was feeding the baby, I asked him to help out with his bedtime routine.
He said that he was watching a football game and that it was the finals it was quite important.
I told him that if he really wants his family back he'll forget the football just for tonight and he'll out.
After a little back and forth, he left to go watch his game !!!!!!!

Was I being unreasonable?? 
He said that I was being controlling!

.

There's a saying on here... when someone shows you who they are, believe them.

This is the kind of man he is OP. He can't even make an effort to 'win' you back. He's never going to change.

Good luck with your little ones

I would believe his actions not his words

His words say I want my family back
His actions say I want to do what I want when I want but I miss regular sex, a nice house and emotional support. Oh and people think I’m scum for leaving my partner with a newborn but if we get back together I can continue doing my own thing and they will be none the wiser but think I’m a great guy

Apply to csa immediately and work out a visitation schedule with him. You deserve better

Nope. What a twat. Bye bye twatface.

So Man City were playing Lyon in a 'quarter' final. Is he a city fan even? Not a final and either way, not enough for any decent man to sacrifice a chance to get his family back. This tells you where his priories are - not with you. A fool and his family are soon parted. Just tell him he's failed at the first hurdle. His only comeback can be ' but it was an important game', sad and pathetic really. His loss, definitely, your gain.

My ex missed my kids birthday for a football match once. It was a once in a lifetime game apparently. It was one example of the overall behaviour he found acceptable, and literally couldn't see why I was upset (there is more to the story - I was away with the kids,e was supposed to join us. He had the cakes and the presents and he lied at the last minute saying he couldn't join us for a different reason, cane down late the next day after I'd replaced the cakes and presents and he missed all the action. But the ultimate issue was he missed his kids bday for a bloody sports match)

As pp said, he's telling you who he is. Listen. And run.

My ex missed visiting my mum in a hospice because of an 'important game'. He'd known her 4 years. He's a dick.

Thank you everyone.
His actions and his words certainly do not match.
He clearly does not care, but will not leave me alone!
I am extremely hormonal/sensitive at the moment due to the lack of sleep and postpartum stress. So When he said that I was being controlling soo soon, it played with my head.
I'm glad that everyone agrees I wasn't being unreasonable.

Yanbu

Well he’s answered the question hasn’t he? He’d prefer to watch football than raise his children.

Don’t every give him another chance OP.

Smallsteps

I definitely will not !!
Thank you

Wow, that’s awful behaviour of his, I’m so sorry.

You’re clearly doing a great job on your own, well done for being brave and setting what you expect and sticking to your boundaries.
If he can’t even put HIS OWN CHILDREN to bed when he’s trying to win you back, what chance is there of him doing anything to help once he’s moved in?

Is he paying any money towards the children?

Ineedholidaynow

He is pay child support.
I've contacted maintenance for DD.

Lulubella

Thank you soo much it means a lot.
It's been very difficult, but I've done most of the hard part by myself.