I want someone to tell me sort myself out here

[Myusername122]

I feel like I taken the last bout of abuse , I have just spoken to women’s aid seeking refuge .
Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans .
WTF is wrong with me ?.

What did WA say? Well done for calling, that's a great first step. The rest is just habit, there's nothing wrong with you.

I’m got some numbers to call .
Feeling very scared of the future .

OP you're going to be fine. It's taking that first step which is the hardest. I'm around for a while if you want to call those numbers and get some advice, am happy to answer any questions. Make those calls OP then have a cup of hot, sweet tea and relax knowing that the hardest part is over.

Thank you I will x

Just called the 3 numbers given by WA no ones answering 😔.

Don't give me too much detail OP but what were the numbers for? Were they for a refuge or domestic abuse organisation or what?

Just called the 3 numbers given by WA no ones answering

Keep trying the numbers whenever you can. xxx If he turns nasty then call the police.

Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans.WTF is wrong with me ?

If you're still living together you're doing what you have to to keep yourself safe. Everything has to seem normal. Don't let him know you're getting help.

For places to stay,one called me back said they would have a room in a few days.
She advised me to ring DWP to see if I’m entitled to housing benefit to pay for room as I on mortgage but not working currently.

Great news!!! I'm so proud of you; I know how hard that is. Get those details sorted OP while you're on a roll.

It sounds like you are codependent.

I am too and these YouTubers have really really helped me,

The Jenna Ryan show
Amy young coaching
Mark groves create the love

Have a look when you get a minute. I’ve finally got my self worth back after a toxic relationship.

Good luck op you can do this

The only way your future would be scary is if he's in it.

@Natureotter

It sounds like you are codependent.

I am too and these YouTubers have really really helped me,

The Jenna Ryan show
Amy young coaching
Mark groves create the love

Have a look when you get a minute. I’ve finally got my self worth back after a toxic relationship.

Good luck op you can do this

I definitely am codependent. I have been with him since I was 17 (29years) he is very controlling but in a sneaky way .I actually did not realise until recently . He makes me feel like I need him , he said everyone hates me and I believe him . I haven’t had a friend in 10 years. We recently moved house the neighbour invited me in - I was too scared to go incase I upset him.

"Then got the iron out and am now pressing his jeans.WTF is wrong with me ?

If you're still living together you're doing what you have to to keep yourself safe. Everything has to seem normal. Don't let him know you're getting help."

This. You're doing absolutely the right thing in making everything seem normal while you plan your escape. He must not know you are planning to get away until after you have gone and so acting as if everything is normal is a very sensible way to proceed.

Good luck, OP. We're all rooting for you.