I’m so fed up of being single

[FireflySea]

I have (had? a good social life, was OLD, have hobbies and interests of my own. Life is really good and I know it could be so much worse.

Obviously lockdown hasn’t helped but it just feels like there’s this little ache of loneliness all the time.

I want a relationship. I want a family. I’m fed up of ready meals for one and having no one to talk to.

Please tell me it’ll be my turn for some luck soon 💔

Have you read the 'unexpected joy of being single' by Catherine Gray?

I'd recommend it.

No. Is it just platitudes like being able to travel and having the whole bed to yourself? I don't quite want that just now.

I know the feeling, been there got the t shirt, hang in it will get better and easier x

I've just accepted that some people stay and die single. It sucks but I find it easier since coming to this realisation.

Just try and enjoy the other parts of your life that are good.

Also please no-one say 'you'll find someone when you least expect it' or something to that effect. I know you mean well but it doesn't help.

Yeah, that one is crap.

The hope is still there that I meet someone

Hope you find someone soon Op!

Try observing older couples. They frequently totally ignore each other, the women often runs after the man at cafes etc. With the quite elderly ones, very often the woman is effectively her husband's carer - as a frail old woman herself. I see this very, very often.

Isn't it just the grass over there is greener? I am in relationship of twenty years and long for the days when I was single, no responsibility, able to follow my dreams!

I feel your pain OP. I could have written your post, apart from the wanting a family bit as my two kids are now grown.

A failed marriage (dumped for a younger model) and long term failed relationship (ditto), a few on-off relationships since but I’m fed up with being single too. Just having someone to share stuff with, do mundane stuff with and yes, I’m also so with you on the platitudes.

I look in the mirror and think flipping heck I’m in my mid 50s and single yet again, this isn’t what I signed up for! I’m trying to keep the faith and so should you @FireflySea , our time will come (she says with fingers very tightly crossed!).

Well, dump him and get on with being single then.

Gawd.

My crush never notices me and I can’t speak to him because two metres away from him I keep on telling me friends that he said he likes me but I don’t even know his name what should I do?

🐻🐻🐻

OP - I could have written this myself except I'm too old now to have a family (no regrets).

Fingers crossed you meet someone nice soon.

I tend to be quite picky when it comes to partners which is better than settling. Are you the same?

How long have you felt like this? What have you been doing to try and meet someone? (Obvs lockdown rules are a bit different...)

I went through phases where I'd be fed up with it too, I had been single for ten months after leaving a 5 year marriage. Recently met someone, only a few weeks in so who knows how it'll turn out. But what really changed it for me was being a bit more open minded. I got on tinder - something I'd never dream of a year ago - and initially was a bit fussy. Then started swiping right to all sorts. Had some funny conversations, some terrifying ones and then had a message from a guy who looked perfectly average. Lots of thing about him that I wouldn't normally go for but his messages were fun. If I hadn't have had the 'sod it, he's worth a swipe' attitude after a few glasses of wine I'd never have met him. Don't get so bogged down in wanting a relationship that you miss out on fun dates too.