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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Growing whilst we've got this enforced at home time!

3 replies

Parrotsandpussies · 07/04/2020 12:39

So, I'm after some suggestions. I am still living with my ex, planning to re-locate in September, assuming I can find a new job. We've been "separated" for 2 years. This was my decision.
I have 2 main things I want to change. When someone criticises me, I want to be able to calmly consider and then act reflectively. At the moment I know I get cross.
And, this is the main one, I love the quote by Stephanie Bennett-Henry about loving yourself enough so that any other love just adds more candles to the cake you've already iced.
So how do you learn to love yourself? I've previously been rubbish at putting boundaries in place. That must be connected. Would love thoughts about what I can read and do. Thank you!!

OP posts:
Justtryingtobehelpful · 07/04/2020 16:32

Bought this today.
Also liked When I Say No, I Feel Guilty

Growing whilst we've got this enforced at home time!
Parrotsandpussies · 08/04/2020 12:42

Thank you!

OP posts:
Justtryingtobehelpful · 13/04/2020 06:54

www.alturtle.com/archives/172 good on types of talk

Comes well recommended so on my eventually will treat one of her books list
brenebrown.com/
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
By: Brené Brown

Have saved this article
psychcentral.com/lib/a-pep-talk-for-people-pleasers-for-setting-boundaries/

For use in ending conversations
psychcentral.com/lib/a-pep-talk-for-people-pleasers-for-setting-boundaries/

Don't JADE, justify, argue, defend or explain

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