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If masturbating to porn doesn't bother me should this not bother me either?

21 replies

Madnessitellyoumadness · 18/03/2020 21:45

Both myself and my DP watch porn to masturbate so porn has never been an issue in our relationship but turns out masturbation isn't the only reason he views porn.

This all started when my best friend told me she walked in on her DH having a poo whilst watching porn on his phone. They were both embarrassed and she asked him why afterwards. He told her he was simply passing the time. He said it's something he watches when he's bored, can't sleep, when he fancies it etc and doesn't always use porn to masturbate and that it's just something to watch.

I relayed the story to my DP and asked if he's the same and he said yes. He masturbates once maybe twice a week (which I'm aware of, I masturbate a hell of a lot more, again he's aware about it) but otherwise he just watches porn like I watch Netflix or YouTube, it's basically entertainment. I was a little taken by what he said and he doesn't understand if I didn't have an issue with porn before then why now. I do get what he's saying but I'm still a little taken aback by the amount of porn he may be watching. He says he definitely doesn't view it every day. I genuinely don't think its an addiction and our sex life is not affected. I just find it so strange!!

OP posts:
tarasmalatarocks · 18/03/2020 21:58

Can’t think of anything more boring to be honest

Babooshkar · 18/03/2020 22:04

If I’m not ‘in the mood’ then porn would just be a bit of a dull / weird thing to watch to be honest.

mamato3lads · 18/03/2020 22:08

Bet your mates DH just LOVES her relaying such private information to you. Bloody hell.

In answer to your question, you are fine with porn but not fine with him watching it unless he's having a wank? Unless theres an addiction and he's not shagging you, you can't really control this, he's been very honest about it too so wouldn't worry personally.

MMmomDD · 18/03/2020 23:33

Not sure what the issue is OP.
And why would you know how often you each masturbate? Or compare the frequency?
There is a hint of controlling in what you say and how you phrase it.
You both accept that porn is ok for personal use - and as you say it doesn’t affect your sex life. You prefer to masturbate more often, he watches it differently. Just because you don’t understand it - doesn’t give you a right to judge how he prefers it. As it doesn’t affect you, or your relationship

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 18/03/2020 23:37

Maybe he is enjoying the gripping storylines 😂

People read romantic books / films with sex scenes in for entertainment, so why not that?

Personally i cannot bear porn it does nothing for me but each to their own.

If you have no problem with him using it in a sexual way, then there should be no issue with him watching it as entertainment.

IndoorWeather · 18/03/2020 23:39

I can’t imagine having either a case of constipation so severe or a mind so empty that watching porn on the loo would seem like a remotely normal thing to do.

CyberNan · 18/03/2020 23:44

i think you really really wanted to start a thread on mumsnet and this was the best you could come up with..

try harder

Sadiesnakes · 18/03/2020 23:48

It absolutely fucking would and if not should bother most,

Wanking to porn is bad enough, watching women being abused/ raped/ coerced as just sheer entertainment/ nothing better to do is fucking disgusting.

CyberNan · 18/03/2020 23:55

you assume it is male on female porn...

how can you develop such strong views from an assumption?

AnyFucker · 19/03/2020 00:03

You both love porn, clearly

Just crack on and fucking leave the rest of us out of it

AngelsSins · 19/03/2020 10:48

you assume it is male on female porn...

how can you develop such strong views from an assumption?

What, you want to play pretend that a straight guy is watching male on male porn?!

The knots we must tie ourselves in to never offend the fragile male ego by acknowledging the horrific treatment of women....

Kel9 · 19/03/2020 14:25

I agree if your not in the mood why would you watch it? Especially doing a shit?!?

Some people are being a bit harsh on here.. come on folks different views and opinions are allowed.

Kel9 · 19/03/2020 14:27

Angelssin believe it’s or not some woman enjoy working in the industry and as you might not be aware if you don’t watch it... men make porn too?

Gwynfluff · 19/03/2020 14:50

There may indeed be females who enjoy making porn, and that males make it to and that there are both female and male users of porn. Still doesn’t mean that it’s good clean egalitarian fun. It can still mean that the way it depicts, mainly the female participants, is overwhelmingly and increasingly degrading and objectifying. That there has been an increase in the depiction of women being brutalised and coerced into sex and a very specific body image being shown. And that these things form part of the structural processes of patriarchy that impact on women and men.

LexMitior · 19/03/2020 17:23

Jesus. You married a right intellect, didn’t you?

Tootletum · 19/03/2020 17:26

I am so confused and yet fascinated. Mainly by the idea of such a high sex drive in the first place.Smile

Sparklingplasters · 19/03/2020 17:44

OP I’m like you, I wouldn’t watch it if I wasn’t going to do anything but I know a guy who did, maybe just a guy thing?

It’s nice to know that I’m not the only woman wanking loads!!

PrawnSacrifice · 19/03/2020 21:39

Lots of assumptions here that porn is always the archetypal Hollywood style porn, where these days, there is an awful lot of porn that is home made, amateur material, made by contenting couples who just enjoy filming themselves and uploading using their phone cameras etc.

Langsdestiny · 19/03/2020 21:45

Indeed and who would not be in favour of porn following this scintillating debate.

LuxLuxLux84 · 19/03/2020 21:48

Yuck. All of it disgusts me.

Kel9 · 20/03/2020 13:38

😂😂 I say each to there own

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