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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

When you no longer have sex

5 replies

Suppertimelove · 30/09/2019 06:35

When we got together we had both come out of long term sexless relationships and both agreed that this was a symptom of other things not being right in the relationships.

We would see each other a few times a week when my DS was with his Dad and had the best sex I’ve ever had.

The frequency settled down a bit after a couple of years as it tends to. I got pregnant a few months before we moved in together (planned we had bought the house and work was being done to it). Once I was pregnant he was too worried to have sex incase some thing happened to the baby and we started sleeping in separate beds because I was snoring and have stayed in separate beds since the baby has come (almost a year old).

When he is in work he is too tired to have sex so I never ask them because I know it will be a flat out no. He’s off work this week however he has already rejected the idea last night and now I feel like I don’t want to ask again and be rejected again.

Is it going to be another week that passes, are we both now in another sexless relationship doomed to failure?

OP posts:
LoreleiRock · 30/09/2019 06:38

How old are you? We had a couple of lean years where work was so fucking overwhelming and we both traveled so hardly saw each other at times. I also thought maybe our age played a part (40s) But we can’t get enough of each other now. It does not have to be the end at all.

hardyloveit · 30/09/2019 06:43

Can you sit down with him and explain your both stuck in a rut and you would like to actually have sex rather than have another sexless relationship. Explain how hurt you felt being rejected and want to be close again and sleep in the same bed

Suppertimelove · 30/09/2019 06:59

@LoreleiRock we are both approaching 40, however he is doing the same job as he was when we 1st met (admittedly physical) and I’m on maternity leave - so I am much more likely to be too tired myself when I go back to work!

@hardyloveit I think I’ll give it until next Sunday night and if nothing still I might have to have more of a chat with him about it. I hoped he would just want to though Sad

OP posts:
SidJamesLaugh · 30/09/2019 08:07

Did he have children in the first sexless relationship? If so, that may be the connection.

Suppertimelove · 30/09/2019 08:13

@SidJamesLaugh no he hasn’t got any other children

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