FWB questions

[Fwbvirgin]

I might be overthinking this but I am recently out of a long term relationship, not looking or wanting anything serious but have never done the fuck buddy/FWB thing before and am feeling a bit lost at sea!

Guy in question is an ex colleague I still see from time to time, always been a mutual attraction and some messaging has built up to an invitation round to his.

In my mind I was going to suggest a hotel as to me that seems a bit easier for a first meet up? That way we could see how we hit it off and I'd feel more in control if he is the one leaving and I can stay, rather than it being in the intimate setting of his house? I'm just a bit unsure how to word it, and any help from wise mumsnetters who have been here before would be appreciated!

It’s entirely up to you and whatever makes you feel most comfortable, although a hotel stands the risk of building it up to being a bit more of an “event” than a FwB thing should be: it isn’t so much an opportunity to see if you hit it off as a few drinks at home or in a bar would be and seeing where that leads as pretty much being a neon sign that sex is expected. But maybe that’s your intention?

I prefer to go to partners’ houses because then I have the freedom to hit and run, so to speak (I do stay over with partners I know well, but prefer to go home overnight with new ones.)

Oh it is def a sex situation, we have both made it clear that is what we want and potentially just a one off.

Ive not done anything like this before but def want too!

I think with going to his house it's a bit more personal?! I know that sounds daft given what we plan to do but I'm hoping it makes sense.

Also potential friend lives in a diff city so staying over one way or another is sort of inevitable.

I would choose to go to his, then you can check he's definitely single and you can choose to leave easily if you want to, rather than the potentially awkward situation of asking him to leave yours.

I found staying the night to be too confusing for me emotionally, and had to end a fwb as a result (regretfully, because he was great). If I could do it over again I would have chosen hotel or just a few hours at his here and there.