Hi,
I wrote a post just over a month ago
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3613396-Why-did-I-have-to-look?pg=3&order=
I really felt like I was in a bad place and felt I'd never come through the other side.
Anyway I just want to say thank you to everyone that gave me advice and tough love as I feel so much better and my feelings for my ex has changed alot too.
Due to my ex and my DC's going abroad in October with his girlfriend and her DC, I actually met her today when he dropped them off, I said 'I thought I'd say hello as the boys have told me how nice you are and they enjoy going to your house'
This was really hard for me to do; however I thought maybe I should meet the person who is going on holiday with my children and maybe it might help me move on more, she seems very nice.
I was also due to start University in January, but I got offered to start in September, so I'll be busy in Uni whilst they are away, so my mind won't be on it too much.
I've still got a long way to go, but I feel that I have been helped alot and it's made me that little bit stronger. 
I can also laugh about the petals now 