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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New boyfriend of only a month talking about getting me pregnant...massive red flag?

310 replies

abwhite100 · 27/06/2019 10:40

So this is a weird one. Met my boyfriend online about 5 weeks ago, all in all have only had 7 dates. Each date has gone really well, we have loads in common, loads of chemistry, laughs a lot and I have genuinely never felt so comfortable and more able to be myself with someone in my whole life. But there have been some massive red flags and I have made mistakes by ignoring red flags in my last relationships and I'm at the stage where I have a little girl to consider and so I want to be sensible.

1st red flag. He is 30 and only had a girlfriend for 6 months, he claims he has never been in love.

2 nd red flag. He told me he loved me after our 4th date. He claims he knew after our first date and has never felt like this with anyone ever before. He says when you know you know.

3 rd red flag. He is very very very intense and has admitted himself he is a jealous person. He has made some controlling comments for example, I have a male friend whom is straight, he told me drinks with him won't be happening whilst I'm in a relationship with him.

4 th massive red flag. He stayed over at mine the other night, we have been using condoms as I am not on contraception as I am really sensitive to hormones and find nothing tends to agree with me. After sex the other night, he said, "you know I really don't want to use condoms, I only do because you want to but I like taking risks" then he kept going on and on in a jokey manner about how he is going to get me pregnant. This gave me absolute goosebumps especially as I said about 5 times that I do not want any more kids at this point in my life as I want to get my degree before even considering it. He still continued to make jokes saying he could pull out but he couldn't trust himself, or he would just not tell me he was about to cum and cum inside me without me knowing.

I really like this guy, I've not felt so connected to someone ever, but this pregnancy talk has really upset me and caused me to think about whether I should walk away regardless of the connection.

Should I discuss with him? Or should I walk?

I'm worried if I discuss he'll say he was only having a joke and put it on me making me look crazy.

OP posts:
Thefemalekeithrichards · 30/06/2019 21:44

@Littlegoth

Run away and never look back! Move house and change your numbers

Even better - A change of identity, feature altering surgery, and relocation to another continent - just in case

hiddeneverythin · 03/07/2019 22:01

Still all quiet on the western front, op? I hope so. Well done again for getting rid .

Chaoticpenguin · 04/07/2019 20:52

@abwhite100 are you ok? Xxxx

RamblingEm · 04/07/2019 20:55

“Ugh, he is really nice in every other aspect“

Of course he is. He’s lulling you in. His jokes are said in a comical way purely because he’s deadly serious.

Run like the fucking wind. He’s a nutter.

SylvanianFrenemies · 04/07/2019 20:59

My face when reading the OP. Sorry OP.

New boyfriend of only a month talking about getting me pregnant...massive red flag?
PicsInRed · 04/07/2019 21:11

Deep booming movie voice

THE IMPREGNATOR...coming soon, to a town near you.

🧟‍♂️

Jaffacakesaremyfave · 04/07/2019 22:36

Pics Grin

75Renarde · 05/07/2019 14:55

Just chiming in to say nice one OP!

And yes, the calls where Hoover's either from him or his flying monkey. Keep the NC in place.

OneOfOurOwn · 05/07/2019 14:58

Run

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 05/07/2019 16:34

Well done OP. Not an easy thing to do, but you spotted all the warning signs early, listened to your gut and then did something about it.

Fab! Hope you and DD have a wonderful and peaceful weekend. Keep your guard up for a bit though, just in case.

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