New boyfriend of only a month talking about getting me pregnant...massive red flag?

[abwhite100]

So this is a weird one. Met my boyfriend online about 5 weeks ago, all in all have only had 7 dates. Each date has gone really well, we have loads in common, loads of chemistry, laughs a lot and I have genuinely never felt so comfortable and more able to be myself with someone in my whole life. But there have been some massive red flags and I have made mistakes by ignoring red flags in my last relationships and I'm at the stage where I have a little girl to consider and so I want to be sensible.

1st red flag. He is 30 and only had a girlfriend for 6 months, he claims he has never been in love.

2 nd red flag. He told me he loved me after our 4th date. He claims he knew after our first date and has never felt like this with anyone ever before. He says when you know you know.

3 rd red flag. He is very very very intense and has admitted himself he is a jealous person. He has made some controlling comments for example, I have a male friend whom is straight, he told me drinks with him won't be happening whilst I'm in a relationship with him.

4 th massive red flag. He stayed over at mine the other night, we have been using condoms as I am not on contraception as I am really sensitive to hormones and find nothing tends to agree with me. After sex the other night, he said, "you know I really don't want to use condoms, I only do because you want to but I like taking risks" then he kept going on and on in a jokey manner about how he is going to get me pregnant. This gave me absolute goosebumps especially as I said about 5 times that I do not want any more kids at this point in my life as I want to get my degree before even considering it. He still continued to make jokes saying he could pull out but he couldn't trust himself, or he would just not tell me he was about to cum and cum inside me without me knowing.

I really like this guy, I've not felt so connected to someone ever, but this pregnancy talk has really upset me and caused me to think about whether I should walk away regardless of the connection.

Should I discuss with him? Or should I walk?

I'm worried if I discuss he'll say he was only having a joke and put it on me making me look crazy.

I think you should run, not walk.

Why are you even asking? Run for your life!

There's enough red flags there to make bunting! I'd leave.

Run away and never look back! Move house and change your numbers!

Jesus H Christ RUN

You've identified all the red flags yourself; which is excellent. You're aware & switched on, now you have to act on them. It's unfortunate but I wouldn't advise any woman I knew to continue with this guy from what you've said.

I'd be practicing for the 100m

Yeah I knew it. Ugh, he is really nice in every other aspect and I really really feel like I can be myself around him but I know these are massive red flags I can't ignore. I'm so bad at cutting people off.

Talk to him first, but none of that sounds healthy at all.

Oh that’s a lot of red flags, I’d be advising you to run too....

You don't have the luxury of ignoring red flags when you have a child to consider. You need to run a mile.

The controlling who you can and can't go out for drinks with would have ended it for me. 7 dates in, you don't know him at all, but what you do know is worrying.

Finish it.

Given points 1, 3 and 4 I would sprint and not look back.

Also, not sure how you could really like this guy given points 3 and 4?

Run as fast as you can. Point 3 alone would have been enough for me to ditch him on the spot.

There's no point in talking to that gut, he'll just try to reassure her, make her feel like she's being over the top, and then continue to be exactly how she's described (except it will get worse as the relationship goes on).

Run away.

*guy

Christ OP run a mile!!

If he’s like this now he will get worse not better. Personally I would run. And run fast. His “jokes” don’t sound like jokes at all.

he is really nice in every other aspect

He seems really nice. It's early days and he's probably been love bombing and mirroring you.

You have a young child. Get away from this man.

Besides all abusers (most people in fact) have done nice sides to them. Doesn't change the fact they're abusers and terrible relationship material.

Big red flags need taking notice of. You could lay it all out on the table to see what he says but I doubt this will end well. It all seems a lot of effort and angst for a 5 week old relationship.

You realise this is him on his best behaviour? Stay with him longer and it won't be red flags, it will be wall to wall red bunting. Run. Now.

I agree - you need to run really fast and really far...