This happened to me in early stages of divorce. X restricted me financially and refused to answer questions claiming “there is no money”. At the same time together with OW posted pictures of holidays, meals out, large bunches of flowers etc on social media. when I reacted got his solicitor to send a letter accusing me of harassment and being abusive and would report me to police if I did not stop - at the time this traumatised me confused me and intimidated me! If only I’d come across this then!
themindsjournal.com/reactive-abuse-2/