I think I need more from BF

[CeeCee58]

I have been with my boyfriend for over five years now.

I’m mid 30s and he’s ten years older.

He has been hurt in the past and is emotionally very cold, including to me. I don’t get any compliments from him (despite the fact that I compliment him all the time).

However, what really upsets me is that he has never told me he loves me. He says he cares about me and that he equates saying I love you with being ready to get married. I told him I don’t expect him to propose to me but saying ‘I care about you’ is something I would say to a friend.

I just feel like I deserve more than this. Has anyone got any advice? I sometimes wonder if I’m expecting too much.

Thanks

What do you want? A companion? If so maybe you can rub along, sounds rather joyless though. Don’t you think you deserve more.
If you want to get married and/ or have children I think you’re barking up the wrong tree.

He can't reflect his hurt from the past on you, you do deserve better you're right. I wouldn't say leave him, but I'd have a good harsh talk with him. There's no need to be so harsh to you, for actions that have hurt him before that wasn't yours.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I think, fundamentally, I just want to feel loved and valued.

Something happened tonight which was like a switch going off - I had reached out to him emotionally and he fairly brutally shut me down. I think I’ve realised that he won’t ever love me.

You are emotionally unfulfilled.
You are incompatible. You need what he can't give you. Not his fault. It's the way he is.
Find someone who can meet your emotional needs.

No, I agree I don’t think he is deliberately trying to be hurtful - he hates seeing me upset.